Also marvel at my talents....

Chris in his velour:

On which we sprayed a stencil I made of him wearing his velour:

It's a negative-image stencil, which is why it looks somewhat weird with the baby-blue being the shadows and all.

There's a reason why I hate making decisions...

because no matter what decision I make, it's the wrong one. I don't know if it's possible for me to ever be satisfied. I figured this out this morning, when I woke up entirely too early. I figured out other random things too. I'm totally done with feelings I think. Ha. Instead I shall spend all day watching porn.

Also....Bas isn't dead! Yay!

Oh....and I'm super jealous of people that are having fun this weekend....which is pretty much everyone I know. I hate you all! Ha.

Links for 2006-12-28 [del.icio.us]

Links for 2006-12-28 [del.icio.us]

• ruhlman.com: For those who can't get enough televised paintball
  Anthony Bourdain agrees to film an episode of No Reservations in Cleveland....via comments on Ruhlman's blog....Ha.

Links for 2006-12-27 [del.icio.us]

Links for 2006-12-27 [del.icio.us]

• Serious Eats: Deep-Fried Pizza
  Jesus....how do people eat shit like this?
• Inhabitat » ELECTROLUX: HYDROSPHERE
  Oh man is that some cool shit. I want it.
• Furious Seasons: Love American Style: Web 2.0 And Narcissism
  Awsome. Super-ranty.....and just awesome.

Drunken Wii

Last night at Alex's

From my Drunk Wii Playing Album

Godamn, godamn....

I've been listening to Black Cab over and over again for the past hour or so. Something about this song articulates so much of the way I feel about 80% of the time. Jens Lekman feels like my weird alter-ego sometimes.....like who I am without my hardass, bullshit shell...who would believe that?

Black Cab[mp3 link]

Also, I've been rocking this song a bit....it's the second best Christmas song ever in my opinion....that Jens writes some nice music for special occasions.

Run Away With Me[mp3 link]

Pocket Full of Money is still his best song ever though.

That's my girl- the drunkest at the party. She lost her shoe and found the rum bacardi.

Haha.....man every time I get drunk that song gets stuck in my head....wonder why, eh? I drank entirely too much spirited eggnog yesterday....I remember pretty much everything up until walking in the door when we got home...after that I apparently started time-travelling. It's really rather unfortunate. Go look at pictures of my Christmas:

From my "Xmas Super Happy Fun Time" Album

Today I'm trying to not freak out and cry and live in a blanket cave. I think I might take a nap though. I'm pretty much over this whole "apparently drinking depletes your serotonin and the day after you will feel like a sad emo fuck"....alcohol is no e, so I'm feeling just a bit gypped. I did get an awesome Christmas sweater from Chris' grandma, so maybe I'll put that on and take some holiday pictures....or maybe not. It's a mystery!

Links for 2006-12-24 [del.icio.us]

Links for 2006-12-24 [del.icio.us]

• Patchbox - creative links.
  Neat.

.

I almost shit my pants from laughing so hard....

seriously....this may be one of the best pictures ever...and it's even funnier the morning after.Now you shall marvel at the absolutely tasteful and attractive Christmas decor you can win at Wawa........
Also....marvel at my belt buckle, bitches!

Links for 2006-12-23 [del.icio.us]

Links for 2006-12-23 [del.icio.us]

• Main Page - Geb
  Wiki for "Godel, Escher, Bach".
• Best Week Ever » Blog Archive » CRUSH OF THE DAY: Monsignor Georg Gänswein
  HA. So good.
• The World's Fair: Happy Holidays, 2 of My Favourite Poems
  Yep.

Also...

it just occurred to me that today marks two months since I've been gone.

Also...I was telling Raeven the other day that I pretty much look like a lesbian hobo these days. Haha. I never bother getting dressed most days. I don't know if I've ever felt uglier..haha. It's ridiculous.

Christmas reminds me I have nothing....

Man I wish I had the Vandals Christmas album with me. Alas, it's at home. Where, if I was, I'd be listening to it. And then going to the Vandals Christmas show tonight. And possibly listening to my Projekt album of Gothic Christmas Carols. Instead I'm far, far away, stuck in someone else's life for the moment.

I always thought I didn't really have much of a life in SD, and truth is I didn't. But I did have a few things that were pretty much "mine" (or "ours" really, because they all involved other people, traditions and whatnot). Christmas was always "wake up early, open presents, call everyone else and meet-up somewhere, usually our house or Garrett's house and drink all day and make merry and mischief." Yeah....why do I always want the things I truly can't have? Ha. I pretty much know that even if I was home this year, that's not really the way things would go down. Damn this fucking year. It's really been one of the worst in my life.

I guess I've just gotta make it through 2 and a half more days and all this shit will be done with. It's fucking torturous though. Every time I even think about doing Christmas-y shit I start tearing up. The title of my post is unfortunately a reality for me right now. Don't get me wrong, it's not all bad. Some of it is just fucking painful.

Charles is going to SF for New Year's. Color me uber jealous. I have no idea what I'm doing. I'm sure it won't be nearly as cool though. Damn you people on the west coast, being "fun" and "interesting".....And never watching tv. Ha.

Links for 2006-12-22 [del.icio.us]

Links for 2006-12-22 [del.icio.us]

• Language Log: Zogby: Bill O'Reilly's Bitches?
  Language Log continues to make me happy.

Who died and made you suck?

Yay! I just got a package from my mommy with presents and a few things from home, like random dvds. And my xmas stocking! and money! hahaha....

also the title of this post has nothing to do with it, the song is just stuck in my head.

Links for 2006-12-21 [del.icio.us]

Links for 2006-12-21 [del.icio.us]

• Rough Type: Nicholas Carr's Blog: Avatars consume as much electricity as Brazilians
  Jesus.
• The Douche Card - $5.00 : Orange32, Online Shop
  I WANT!
• TODO: 'Six Feet Under' Box Set - Gawker
  ALSO WANT! and the bit accompanying it is great...

Random laptop findings (Part Deux)

Valerie and me:Byron and Becky:
Garrett and Kimmy:
Byron and pizza:

More random laptop findings.... (Part 1)

Pics from my old phone that I sent to myself to save.

Valerie:Kimmy:
Amber:
Garrett:
Edward 40-hands party:

Multimedia message

It's still not done because I keep losing my light. It gets dark so early here. And overhead lights just do not cut it.

Links for 2006-12-20 [del.icio.us]

Links for 2006-12-20 [del.icio.us]

• Serious Eats: 'I've Never Had a Christmas Ham'
  Funniness.
• Language Log: Truthiness wins another one
  Oh Colbert Nation!
• Same Zune Gay Porn Post, Now With Video Included - Consumerist
  Hell yes gay porn!

My heart is an apple....

I'm re-painting a piece I did back home. It's a weird kind of induced deja vu. I was going through a lot when I did it the first time. It was very symbolic. None of it really applies anymore, in a weird way, but I think it means something else this time.

Or maybe I just missed it.

Join the car crash set....

Why am I awake? My head feels like hurting. Ha.

I find fun things on my laptop, random shit I've forgotten about. Right now I'm listening to "Warm Leatherette" by The Normal, which is just awesome as hell. Car crash fetishes, hooray! (p.s. I don't know if I can count the reasons or ways that I love Mute Records)

Along the same lines, I totally found a copy of "The Story of the Eye" on here. Let's hear it for 1920's transgressional fiction disguised as straight-up, freaky-ass smut! Oh Bataille, you silly piss-crazed bastard.

For the squeamish and non-pervy, here's a video Alex made of my cat playing pool! That was at the house we lived in with Garrett on Pine Heights a few years ago. I miss that place.

I've got more for later I do believe.....

Links for 2006-12-19 [del.icio.us]

Links for 2006-12-19 [del.icio.us]

• A suitable suit | Ask MetaFilter
  For some reason I am so amused that Adam Savage is giving suit-buying advice on AskMeFi...
• The New Yorker : Deadweight loss of Christmas
  God I hate this stupid fucking holiday.
• Teaching with Original Historical Sources in Mathematics
  Pretty much awesome to the maxx!
  

Links for 2006-12-18 [del.icio.us]

Links for 2006-12-18 [del.icio.us]

• The World's Fair: un-American, anti-capitalist, eco-freak poseurs
  Man when did I become so anti-consumption that this seems awesome?
• Creating Passionate Users: Tech t-shirts aren't sexy enough
  Quite possibly the stupidest thing I've ever read....at least this month...
• stenSOULblog
  Artist's blog I found through the 11 Spring Street Flickr pool

Links for 2006-12-17 [del.icio.us]

Links for 2006-12-17 [del.icio.us]

• Language Log: Solving the world's problems with linguistics
  So I'm out of the linguistics game...but this is still beautiful and snarky and awesome.
• BAD ASS MOTHER FUCKER
  Is it possible to marry a website? Seriously...I'll pioneer the movement.

.

I stenciled a shirt today....

Front:

Back:

The back turned out kinda fucked up cause the stencil kind of popped up while I was spraying it but overall I like it. It's meant to look messy and irregular anyway....thus all the overspray...it was intentional.

I got anti-social drunk last night...it's been a long time since I've done that. If I would have been at home or someone's house that I'm used to I would have wondered off and hidden in a room...haha. Then people would randomly wonder where I was and have to go looking for me and finding me passed out in a shower or something. Oh memories. I remember contemplating going and hiding in the van but decided it was too cold. Damn the weather!

Anyway....I'm marinating some tofu right now in some spicy, bbq-y type stuff I made and then I'm gonna bake it, in hope that I can finagle some sort of lonestar-esque sandwich out of it. I'm super. I'm trying to keep myself occupied or something cause even though my overall mood right now is on the uber upswing my mind just keeps diving randomly into these pits for a few minutes. It's fucking stupid. And annoying. Hmmm......

Do it!

OMG FOLEY_BOT!@#!#!@!
I died.

Links for 2006-12-15 [del.icio.us]

Links for 2006-12-15 [del.icio.us]

• BBC NEWS | Magazine | 100 things we didn't know this time last year
  Silly list for the most part, but I love the fact that the Queen of England has never used a computer.
• NPR : Border Fence Firm Snared for Hiring Illegal Workers
  HA
• The Predator's Gaze: Science News Online, Dec. 9, 2006
  This is so gonna help me find my future husband....why do I love the crazies so much?

Multimedia message

I made a stencil. Yay! Yes the colors are gayass but theyre all i had.

Links for 2006-12-14 [del.icio.us]

Links for 2006-12-14 [del.icio.us]

• Dr Lakra
  I used to do this a lot too. I was not nearly as good at it.
• 'Blogging \'set to peak next year\''
  I love it.
• Have You Ever Tried to Sell a Diamond?
  Old article, super informative.
• Home of the Freaks
  Industrial music podcasts I've been rocking. The DJ's annoy the shit out of me but the music is goodness.
• TIME: The Best Photos of the Year 2006
  kind of the worst thing to look at first thing in the morning.
• Food politics | Voting with your trolley | Economist.com
  The politics of shopping for food.

I have a foot alien!

Fo reals, check it:Also, Chris and I went and bought velour track suits last night. Totally inspired by this guy we saw at Wawa on Thanksgiving who was wearing a giant baby blue velour track suit, complete with a giant watch. Unfortunately I couldn't get an obnoxiously colored one cause I had to shop in the kid's department...seriously. Kmart is made for fatties or something.....
I'm gonna put the rest of the pictures on Picasa or something.

I made a two-color stencil design today. I guess it's a start. Also, I hate people who can make me cry....I want to kick them in the teeth. Yep.

Oh and Bas.....stop plotting against me Dutchie!

Everybody wants a thrill.....

I'm seriously sitting here listening to Journey and crying...laugh at me, fuckers!

I hate this fucking time of year. I hate stupid holidays that hold no meaning for me other than traditions with my friends and family, neither of which are really relevant this year. I hate fucking consumerism, particularly for consumerism's sake. Also I hate this goddamn year. I can't wait for it to be over but a part of me wishes it never happened in the first place.

I hate being this fucking homesick and I hate feeling this way randomly. I hate waking up and not wanting to be awake at all. I hate not having anything familiar at all and having nothing that's actually MINE. Since my laptop is pretty much a lost cause I have um.....my phone, my camera, some clothes, and a few books and dvds and that's it. It's rather silly that I even feel this way since when I was at home I kept saying that I wanted to just give all of my shit away....and I still kind of feel that way, maybe I just miss having the options I had. I really hate feeling like I have no options.

I miss sitting in Charles' room and eating whatever vegetarian thing we decided to cook that night and smoking and drinking and listening to music. I miss driving down the coast in the middle of the night with Raeven, jamming to some ridiculous mix she made of reggaeton and crunk hits or something. I miss waking up early and going to IHOP with Garrett and eating some taters and sitting there all day drinking coffee and having ridiculous conversations and singing along to Savage Garden when it would come on their crappy music station. I totally fucking miss Margarita Mondays. Kimmy told me she doesn't think she can go anymore cause it won't be the same without me...that makes me sort of secretly happy. Ha. I miss retarded karaoke parties. I miss being creative and artistic and having projects and working on things with other people. I miss the pieces I was working on. I miss music a lot. I miss never having to watch TV.

I really miss people who know me...and not feeling like I have to explain myself or feel bad about how I am or who I am.

I guess I just needed to get all of that out. So there's my emo rant for the end of the year or something. Let's just say it came a few weeks early.

A picture from my phone...

So my mom and sister are driving to Nashville from San Diego because my sister is moving back there. Yesterday they called me from Amarillo, Texas and were on their way to the Cadillac Ranch. I guess when they got there, the gate was welded shut so they couldn't get very close....but they did send this picture to my phone.

Aw.....

Your 'Do You Want the Terrorists to Win' Score: 100%

You are a terrorist-loving, Bush-bashing, "blame America first"-crowd traitor. You are in league with evil-doers who hate our freedoms. By all counts you are a liberal, and as such cleary desire the terrorists to succeed and impose their harsh theocratic restrictions on us all. You are fit to be hung for treason! Luckily George Bush is tapping your internet connection and is now aware of your thought-crime. Have a nice day.... in Guantanamo!

Do You Want the Terrorists to Win?
Quiz Created on GoToQuiz

So does Garth!

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Yay liquor!

I listened to the Boys Next Door this morning...

and that pretty much ruled.

I wrote some rambling thing to a person from my past and it made me happy.

I spent Thanksgiving in Philadelphia which is the most surreal thing in the world if I think about it outside of these past few weeks.

My laptop is the biggest cock-tease in the world.

My mind is starting to open up a bit again...perhaps it might even start working soon!

New Jersey is making me fat. And homesick...I miss my 3 friends and my car and my books and my art. But it's man-pants time and whatnot...haha.

And No, Bas! I will not make out with you!

Um...

So obviously I won't "be back on the 7th" because apparently I've stayed in New Jersey. Seriously, don't ask. I have no idea what I'm doing. Wheeeeee!

Being an adult is for losers....

So I'm leaving tomorrow for two weeks. I'll be back the 7th. The anxiety is making me want to die. I haven't flown in ten years. Time can feel free to fucking move quicker for the next 24 hours if it feels so inclined.

I find this ridiculously funny...

The kid is telling his sister "That comes in handy in bed."

"Im a plumber for Roto-Rooter so I'm in basements all the time....."

SciFi has been running a marathon of Ghost Hunters all day which has been super. It's probably the most unintentionally hilarious show on television.

My future husband has respect for the blogosphere. Also....I really need to figure out how to ensure that he is, in fact, my future husband.

I have the messiest room known to man at this point!

Seriously, it looks like "Artfag" exploded all over the place.

All I want to do for the rest of the day is get super medicated, hide in bed, and watch the fucking season finale of Project Runway. Of course, that seems easy but I've also figured out today that everything I want is automatically 10x more complicated than it should be. I really suck at life. Also, Michael better fucking win!

[15:01] Bas: yah that comic is scarily a lot like 90% of all of our conversations

So apparently the guy from xkcd totally made a comic of me and Bas. Ok so not really, but yeah....



Bas is the one in the hat.

I need to learn how to be a happy nihilist. :(

Seriously.

Nature is such a cunt




Though I still really wish I could be struck by lighting....you know, without the dying or suffering of health consequences

Multimedia message

I made evil spice girls!

Metal by Numbers

Last night, Brian Posehn hosted Headbanger's Ball, which was rad as hell cause he is a funny, funny man. He had the debut of his new video "Metal by Numbers" and it's super funny and contains all sorts of inside references to other metal videos and conventions....I like the Dragonforce joke myself. So watch it :



Also he was supposed to interview Arch Enemy, but I never saw it and I'm pretty sure I watched the whole thing. Did I just miss it?

Fucking 2006....

I'm really quite happy that this year is almost over. I remember at New Year's all of us saying "Man 2006 has to be good cause 2005 sucked so much it can only get better!" Haha....how wrong we all were. The few good things that have happened in my life this year are so wrapped up in bullshit and complications that they barely fucking count at this point. Ok, got that requisite bitching out of the way.

Apparently I've got a job. Garrett offered me one. We shall see how this works out but I'm fairly excited only because the little bit of hunting I was doing was making me want to die. Ha.

It's weird being at home today. I haven't been at home during the day on a weekend in weeks. I don't really think I like it much. In fact, my plan since I got here was to finish the painting I'm working on, take a shower, and find somewhere to go that isn't here. We'll see how that works out.

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My hand looks like an eighties coke den painting!

I seriously have the crazies...

Here's a dream I had today while taking my 3rd or so nap of the day:
I was driving to L.A. I got off at a random exit and it turned into a town in Mexico or something. I went to a mall and it was all covered in trash and everyone was speaking Spanish and everything was in Spanish. I drove to the beach along a coastal highway and saw a white goat in the water chasing seagulls. Then I saw a bunch of sandy-colored warthogs on a small island. Then I got out of my car and walked over to the edge of the road and there was a fenced in area with all sorts of camels and camel like animals (llamas, alpacas, etc...). This giant fucking camel leaned over the fence and just started biting and gnawing on my thigh and wouldn't let go, but I couldn't feel anything. Then I woke up.

Mini-Buffet (Now with free recursion!)

You have a heart and I have a key
Lie back and let me unlock you
Those heathens you hang with down by the sea
All they want to do is defrock you
I know a river, where we can dream
It will swell up, burst it's banks,
babe, and rock you
(You'd have to be a big Nick Cave freak to get that probably)

Finally something else to do with all the tapes I have!(Though I'm mainly posting this because of the charmingly poor english and the "neat/cheap" aspect...I actually still have a tape deck in my car, ha)

Insanely Fucking Cool Seriously I want a house like this.

Or one like this...hell yes.

Update: Guess who's the #1 search result on Google for "Why am I such a fag"!

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The most unintentionally artfag pic evaaarr!

Pardon...

This is my "life is dumb" face.

Ok I haven't had coffee for two days. I've been trying to drink tea to alleviate some of the withdrawal effects but I don't think it's really helping. If I freak out on any of you or get insanely emotional, this is why. I feel like I haven't slept in days even though I've been sleeping more than I normally do in a week....and this in turn is making me have intense emotional reactions to everything because I feel almost delerious. It's also making me super super depressed...ugh. Who would've thought, out of all the drugs, caffeine would be my poison? Ha.

I've taken about three naps today....

that's how bored I've been.

Last night I watched Night Watch with Charles which was utterly fucking awesome, I don't care what you think! Seriously though, even the subtitles were rad. Tonight we are probably going to watch The Proposition cause after waiting a year for it to come to the U.S., making a special trip on my birthday weekend to L.A., and still not seeing it, even when it finally was playing in S.D., I finally rented it. Yay me.

I've kind of alternated between painting and cooking today, even though I can't eat much. Apparently I ate some of the bad spinach and apparently that's why I've felt like I'm dying. I can't even drink coffee cause it hurts my stomach too much. That right there kinda makes me wish I really was dying, haha.

I have some more random links to post but right now I have to go check the potatoes I'm roasting, so perhaps that will come later this evening.

Man

I forgot how fucking boring and frustrating looking for a job is. It's been far too long since I've done it. I don't even really want a job, I just for some reason think I should get one. It would be much easier if someone was just like "Hey, wanna work here?" and I could be like "Uh...I guess"....curse the person who gave me this lazy disease.

Also, I'm fairly certain that I'm dying. Either that or my body doesn't like my steady diet of liquor, cigarettes, and coffee but seriously, how likely is that? Good thing I don't have health insurance or I might be forced to go to the doctor. I guess I could start taking vitamins or something. I had a dream yesterday that I was utterly gorging myself on pieces of nearly raw steak so maybe I'm just iron deficient...haha.

Also....I think I had way too much truth serum yesterday.

I have found my calling!

I am fucking serious. I don't care that I've been living off of bloody marys for two days. I just watched the video for "Rock n Roll Children" by motherfuckin Ronnie James Dio on "Metal Mania" on VH1 Classics....and I am totally becoming an 80's metal chick like the chick in the video. You know you all want to fuck me now.



Update: Someone in Canada totally found my blog by searching for "Why am I such a fag"....that almost beats the people searching for "hell beast"......almost.

Bullshit Survey Day!

So....yeah Raeven and I are doing surveys all day. I refuse to post bulletins in myspace for the most part so they're all going here throughout the day. Fear the amount of mundane things you will be learning about me!

Survey 1

1)What’s their name?
Raeven Faye Chandler

2) Do you trust them?
More than I trust myself, that's for sure.

3) Where did you meet?
Oh Mocha...the "Max the Head Vampire" of all that sucks in Ghostown.

4) How old were you when you met them?
22?

5) Is this person one of your best friends?
If by "best friend" you mean we plan on having matching abortions and funerals as well as my part in raising her future kids, then yes.

6) Where does this person live?
North Esco, represent!

7) Is this person older than you?
No, no.

8) When is the last time you saw them?
Last night

9) When is the last time you talked to them?
Right now, on the Myspace instant messenger while she's at work. Ha.

10) Are you related to this person?
Perhaps in some hippie mystical collective consciousness way that Cara would think of.

11) Would you do anything for this person?
Dur.

13) Are you their b/f or g/f?
were semi-hetero life partners (Only because no one could ever accuse me of being truly hetero with a straight face)

14) Do you have nicknames for each other?
I call her Faggot a lot, also Cunty Cunty CuntFace. These go both ways however.

15) Do you have pics of this person on your myspace?
Yes, even though she has demanded in the past that I take it down.

16) How many times do you talk to this person in a week?
Pretty much daily.

17) Do you think this person will repost this?
I'm responding to her posting of it so....

18) Would you live without this person?
Would I? Probably not voluntarily but I mean...when she runs off to Mexico and I run off to the wilds of the world I suppose I'll have to.

Survey 2

1. Do you like chinese food?
Um, yes.

2. How big is your bed?
Full, though it barely counts as a bed since it is a futon and it wants to ruin my life. And by life I mean my back.

3. Is your room clean?
Not so much.

4. Laptop or Desktop computer?
I've got a few laptops.

5. Favorite comedian?
I used to be a total Lewis Black girl, though I'm feeling Demetri Martin lately.

6. Do you smoke?
Cigarettes. Though crack and pcp are definitely up there on my list as well.

7. Does anyone like you?
Sure, but they'll all end up hating me. They always do.

8. Whats the sexiest thing about Condoleeza Rice?
Um...she had some pretty hot boots on that one time. Also she has a vagina, and those can be sexy, though hers is probably just angry looking.


10. Sleep with or without clothes on?
Without

11. Who sleeps with you every night?
My laptops

12. Do long distance relationships work?
I don't know, I've never been in one. I probably never will be either.

13. How many times have you been pulled over by the police?
Once

14. Pancakes or French Toast?
French toast.

15. Do you like coffee?
More than life itself.

16. How do you like your eggs?
Over hard.

17. Do you believe in astrology?
Only when I'm bitching about coincidence.

18. Last person you talked to on the phone?
Raeven

19. Last person on your missed call list?
Garrett

20. What was the last text message you received?
Charles saying "K" to my text to him about Raeven coming over to his house as well.

21. McDonalds or Burger King?
I don't really eat fast food much, but I've eaten at Burger King a few times because they have a veggie burger. I haven't eat at McDonalds in probably 5 year.

22. Number of pillows?
There are 7 on my bed, I sleep with 3.

23. Last thing you ate?
Rice and vegetables.

24. Last thing you bought?
Cigarettes I think.

25. What are you hearing right now?
Stargate SG-1

26. Pick a lyric-
If this is heaven, I'm bailing out.

27. What kind of jelly do you like on your PB & J sandwich?
Pretty much anything.

28. Can you play pool?
Sometimes.

29. Do you know how to swim?
I think I learned how to swim before I could walk.

30. Favorite ice cream?
Coffee or Blue Bell White Chocolate.

31. Do you like maps?
Is batman the coolest shit ever?

32. Tell me a random fact:
Batman is the coolest shit ever.

33. Ever had a hard on at work?
Well given the amount of times I've actually worked combined with the amount of times I've actually had a penis....fuck yes.

34. Ever attend a theme party?
I've thrown many of them...so yeah.

35. Ever do a keg stand?
Hahaha. I've mocked people who have plenty of times.

36. Craziest place you've slept after a night of drinking?
On a picnic table in the woods? On the beach? I don't really know what counts as craziest.

37. What is your favorite season?
Winter

38. What is the first music video you ever saw?
I have no idea, my mom was obsessed with MTV since it first became available so I kind of grew up with it on all the time.

39. Pick a movie quote:
"Mr. Motherfuckin Bill Murray!"

40. Favorite quote:
Drawing on my fine command of language, I said nothing.

41. What is your favorite hangout?
Parking lots, gas-station bathrooms, rest stops.....really anywhere I could potentially meet my future husband.

42. Best friend's name?
Raeven

43. How long have you known them?
3 years or so

44. Last time you laughed at something stupid?
I laugh at stupid shit for a living. My sense of humor is utterly dorky.

45. What time did you wake up this morning?
7 AM

46. Wake up next to anyone?
Yep

47. Best thing about winter?
Getting to wear boots all the time...and kickass jackets.

48. Name a couple of favorite colors:
Grey, Green, Black.

49. How old are you?
25...but I'm built like a ten year old baby.

50. What month is your birthday in?
May

51. Do you think pirates are cool or overrated?
They're cool as hell. I, however, am completely overrated.

52. Favorite Dave Matthews Band song (if you have one?)?
Seriously?

53. What are you doing this weekend?
Escapist self-destruction via substance abuse, I'm sure.

54. Who will take this survey?
Space monkeys and Sad Panda Faces.


Survey 3

Ten years ago today, it was 1996. Take this survey, post the results, and see how many things have changed since then.

1) How old were you?
THEN: 15
NOW: 25

2) Where did you work?
THEN: Ha.
NOW: Double Ha.

3) Where did you live?
THEN: Vista, CA
NOW: Escondido, CA

4) How was your hair style?
THEN: Black lesbian reverse mullett gothy girl hair.
NOW: Dykeasaurus

5) Did you wear contacts?
THEN: Yes
NOW: Yes

6) Did you wear glasses?
THEN: Yes
NOW: Yes

7) Who was your best friend?
THEN: Nicole
NOW: Raeven

8) Which of your pets were still alive?
THEN: Samantha, Tabitha
NOW: Turbo, Tabitha, Sidney, Murphy, Rielly, Johnny

9) Who was your boyfriend/girlfriend?
THEN: Brian
NOW: Ha

11) Who was/is your celebrity crush?
THEN: Trent Reznor
NOW: Anthony Bourdain, Chris Garver

12) Who was your regular-person crush?
THEN: I didn't really crush on people...I was more of a "let's get down to business asshole" kind of person.
NOW: And I still am.

13) How many piercings did you have?
THEN: 13?
NOW: 5

14) How many tattoos did you have?
THEN: 0
NOW: 0

15) What was your favorite band/singer?
THEN: Nick Cave, The Sisters of Mercy
NOW: Nick Cave

16) Had you smoked a cigarette?
THEN: yes
NOW: yes

17) Had you gotten drunk?
THEN: Yep
NOW: Yep

18) What kind of car did you drive?
THEN: I didn't even get my license until I was 19..ha.
NOW: '93 VW Passat Wagon

19) Looking back, are you where you thought you would be in 2006?
Well I think at that point I thought I'd probably be dead...so no.

Survey 4

A - Age: We've covered this already asshole.

B - Band listening to right now: I'm watching SG-1 but I think the last band I listened to was Skinny Puppy.

C - Career: Slacker extraordinaire, professional dilettante

D - Drink or smoke: Both and more!

E - Easiest person/s to talk to: Raeven is on point with this one...definitely myself.

F - Favorite song/s at the moment: "I don't want to get over you" by the Magnetic Fields...for the week anyway.

G - Gummy Bears or Gummy Worms: I like gummi baren

J - Junk foods you like: Fun Dip. Potato Chips. French Fries.

L - Longest car ride ever: SD to Houston.

M - My favorite Sport/s: "Will ___ combined with ___ kill me?"

N - Number of relationships you've had:Two "serious" ones, a ridiculous amount of other sorts.

O - One wish you have: To do and know everything.

P - Phobias: Bees. Feelings.

Q - Favorite Quote: Man, is it really that common for people to have favorite quotes?

R - Reason to smile: It's just a crapshoot, but it's mostly crap.

S - Song: "Temperature" by Sean Paul. It's the name of a song, since I was given not other criteria. Also, it rules.

T - Time you woke up: 7 AM

U - Unknown fact about you: Rapebear is my father.

V - Vegetable/fruit you hate: Bananas

W - Worst habit: Denial, detachment, distraction, destruction. I'm super good at them though. (alliteration too, it seems)

X - X-rays you've had: More than I can count.

Y- Yummy food/s: Anything uber spicy, pomegranates, mushrooms.

Z- Zodiac sign: Taurus

Back the fuck off my dreams, bitches!

So every time I have a dream people try to steal it. My pirate ship dream, my "moving to Belize and having monkey butlers and never coming back" dream, etc..You all need to get your own dreams, you lazy whores! Luckily no one has tried to steal my cave dream, but I think that's because I'm the only one who is crazy enough to think that living in a cave by myself sounds utterly rad.

Anyway....one of my absolute favorite books as a child was From the Mixed-Up Files of Mrs. Basil E. Frankweiler and it totally made me want to live in a museum (or a giant metropolitan library). So yeah...that's my new dream. And none of you can steal it or I might be forced to shank a bitch.

Also I am now forced to go find a copy of that book and reread it. It really is fantastic.

P.S. I had a dream of the "sleeping" sort last night. I was chillin' with Noah Wylie at a beach party on some tropical island. Only he was actually his character of John Carter on E.R. Yeah, random.

This Appetizing Spread....

So in the like...5 fucking years I've had this blog I tend to alternate between posting link smorgasbords or emoting about my sorry ass life. It's back to the buffet for now.

Today I found Raeven's dream porn though last time I checked that link, the site was down due to bandwidth overload or something.

It must be the jaded cynic asshole in me that loves this but I really just want to make fliers and hand that out to every kid I see.

Apparently being gay on an airplane is against the rules.

In the rare possibility that I ever get married I'm so on board with a Super Mario cake Though truly we all know that me getting married would involve a lot more kidnapping and eloping and a lot less cakes and dresses.

I ♥ Bono. Ha.

And finally...........

I completely won the Most Emo Photo Evaaarrr contest against Bas.

(13:50:36) Marie: i just took the fucking emo belt
(13:50:38) Marie: it's white
(13:50:42) Marie: with studs
(13:50:45) Bas: haha
(13:50:48) Marie: and maybe some stars

Here.

Here are pictures of my weekend. Don't ask, cause I probably won't tell you.
We also tried to go see Banksy. It didn't work out.

Also, having my car back is cool and all but I still don't go anywhere cause I've nowhere I want to go. HA.

Maybe once I realize the one plan I have at the moment, to not have feelings again, things might start making more sense. I'm really sick of not feeling like myself and feeling like I have no idea who I am. Haha....life is such a fucking cocktease.

Hooray!

I got my baby back!

So here's an idea....

and this goes out to everyone. If you know what you want, or you even think you do, or you have some idea of it, just fucking say it. If you have no idea what you want, try not to drag someone down and into your bullshit. Simple concept, makes a lot of sense, I know...I'm fucking brilliant apparently though because while I seem to be able to follow this fairly well it seems to be amazingly difficult for others.

Though now that I think about it, I'm only fucking brilliant in that one respect. I made Bas call me a fucking moron like 5 times tonight. Literally asked him to the first few times, then he picked up the pace and started doing it on his own. I rule. HA.

Just drifting...

Today is the first day I've been home since Saturday afternoon. I don't know whether that makes much of a difference in my life, though since most of my art supplies are here as are a few half-finished paintings I did get to work on those today. Since I bought TWENTY-TWO MOTHERFUCKIN' BRUSHES the other day it was pretty fun. God, I'm such an artfag. I get money I've been waiting for for months and the first thing I do is buy brushes.

I told Raeven today that I'm going to be an art teacher. I think it would be hilarious. I'd be all hippie and try to help kids with their self-expression and esteem and then at the same time I'd be my assholish self and all of the kids would wonder if I'm a lesbian. Ha. I think it's a great life plan.

Apparently my car is fixed. Now what?

On the phone with raeven..

contemplating life and people. Not sure how that one turned out.

It was rather refreshing...

my night that is.

Went down to Hillcrest and met up with Garrett and Kimmy at Bourbon St. for a while. Saw a lesbian wet t-shirt contest, of which I only took a couple of pictures. They're nothing to write home about but I'm sure I'll be posting them soon anyway. Ha. Then went over and saw Factotum which left me feeling weird and like I either want to drink until I die or never drink again. I'm still not sure. After that we went to City Delicatessen. I totally <3 that place to extreme degrees.

Apparently my car may actually be operational again at some point soon. It's weird. I feel like there was this four month period where time just stood still and my life was not my life. Then it ended. And now I go back.

Confessional: I have a ridiculously good memory, primarily for situations or things people have told me. Even most of the times I say I don't remember something I really do, I just say it because I'm embarassed that I remember so many things that other people don't. I remember tiny little details about mundane situations or boring conversations. Even when I don't remember something when it's mentioned, I'll almost always remember it afterward. Even when drinking is involved. This is pretty much true except for my childhood, but nevermind that, that's another story. Anyway, point being...I would be so fucking happy if I didn't remember half of the shit I remember. Especially the things that actually mean something. Or that cause me to feel things. Fuck you, sentimentality! I hope you die from excessive drug use or something! Ha.

My fingers taste like paint....

but who the fuck cares cause I finally got paid! Yay me!

I'm so buying 5 billion new brushes tonight. And maybe some hair dye cause this red shit is getting out of control...ha.

Also that last post was me playing with Blogger's Mobile Blogging service. I have no idea if I really have anything interesting to use it for, but posting dumbass pictures of myself from my phone is pretty entertaining for the time being.

Phonetastic

Testing thingies!

I painted Sailor Jerry tattoos on my shoes...

  
The hearts say "yours" and "mine". I get bored a lot. I make a lot of things and I paint crap and I draw gothy gothy things. Then I take pictures of them and put them on the internet. I've been playing around with my camera, Picasa(the program), and a newly installed copy of Photoshop CS today. Yay me.

Labor Day Weekend

So this Labor Day weekend was interesting. I think there were a lot of things that kind of came to a head which ultimately is a good thing (hopefully). I'm no fucking optimist though, so maybe I'm just kidding myself...ha.

I pretty much stayed at Charles' house all weekend. We had fun, drank a lot, started some shit but hopefully that's over and done with now.

Some chick in turqoise velour track pants called me a hipster last night. I was seriously insulted..haha. She even listed off all of the reasons I look like a hipster. Then her boyfriend kept asking me why I didn't like Sublime and said "They're just like this classic band. Like the Steve Miller band! Nothing is better than the Red Hot Chili Peppers though!" I thought he was fucking with me at first but it became pretty apparent that he wasn't. Then he's like "I bet you just listen to indie music." When I told him I pretty much just listen to industrial they kind of sat there and then stopped talking and left. Which was rad. God bless Five Points.

I'm really sad that the Crocodile Hunter is dead. He was awesome.

I finished that piece I was working on on Charles' wall.

I also made a stencil of a unicorn. HA. Then I put it on the back of a jacket.




I took a bunch of other pictures this weekend too. Go look at them.

What is this...."blogosphere"...you speak of?

(14:41:40) Bas: im going to blog about you
(14:41:44) Bas: :D
(14:43:25) Bas: oh man everyone must be typing into blogosphere right now
(14:43:31) Bas: it's slow
(14:45:00) Marie: hahaha
(14:52:43) Bas: POSTING TO THE BLOGOSPHERE!
(14:52:47) Marie: YAY!
(14:53:21) Bas: i hope the b-sphere approves
(14:53:36) Bas: it seems to be taking it into consideration
(14:53:41) Marie: haha
(14:53:53) Marie: "hrm....is this enough emo-faggotry to qualify?"
(14:53:59) Bas: haha
(14:54:00) Bas: yez
(14:54:11) Bas: woohoo
(14:54:13) Bas: it went through
(14:54:25) Marie: yay
(14:54:27) Bas: ofcourse you're just a cog in a large scheme to get me laid
(14:54:29) Bas: but still
(14:54:35) Bas: *larger
(14:56:07) Bas: I HAIKUD FOR YOU MARIE
(14:56:17) Marie: i can't read it
(14:56:22) Bas: oh the fuck
(14:56:23) Marie: it keeps giving me errors
(14:56:26) Marie: fuck you myspace!
(14:56:30) Bas: the blogosphere is whimsical today
(14:56:42) Marie: haha
(14:59:05) Bas: the blogosphere is probably collapsing into itself
(14:59:08) Marie: hahahaha
(14:59:16) Bas: all the emo bullshit has made it commit suicide
(14:59:20) Marie: i'm so posting this convo
(14:59:31) Bas: haha
(14:59:31) Marie: with all your blogosphere references

I've got two names for you...

Lance Henriksen. Sasquatch. I am so fucking excited. Seriously, this is better than the whole Bourdain/Garver thing.

P.S. I need someone to watch shitty SciFi channel movies with.

Something something bored of titles....

So last night Raeven, Charles, and I went to a hip-hop show.

White kids love hip-hop:



I look high in all of these pictures:


I don't think Charles was terribly entertained:



Like I said.....HIGH:


Came home this morning, took a 4 hour nap, now I'm searching for something else. I suppose there will be more later.

I am such a fag

(15:28:26) Charles: friends are just people who have yet to fuck you over
(15:28:33) Marie: no
(15:28:39) Charles: haha
(15:28:43) Marie: real friends are awesome
(15:28:48) Marie: they are just few and far between
(15:29:15) Marie: and real friends are people that you can't explain to other people how awesome they are because they wouldn't think so or get it anyway
(15:29:37) Marie: and that's why you're friends and they aren't

Typical girls can't control themselves....

I've been painting a lot. I think I've painted more in the past week than I have in the past 9 years. It's ridiculous. It's the only thing I have any sort of attention span for right now. My poor feeds on bloglines have sat idle and unread because I just can't seem to muster the concentration to read things. If I'm at home and I'm not painting, I'm asleep. Mmhmm...I rule.

Watched Jesus is Magic tonight, which was decently funny. Watched Harold and Kumar last night and though I've seen it before I figured out that Raeven is totally the Kumar to my Harold. If that doesn't make sense to you, don't bother asking. It's one of those "if you get it, you get it" deals.

At least there are some good episodes of the X-Files on tonight. Yay, late night reruns. I've also got Blade Runner and Dead Poets Society siting atop my dvd player. Blade Runner cause... well... yeah....and Dead Poets Society because I saw a commercial for House and Robert Sean Leonard was in it and all I could think of was "Neal! Oh Neal, oh god my son!!" "He's ok! He's ok!" That good old knee-slapper, "suicide", just can't be beat.

You want the good news or the bad news?

Bad news first: I've never felt like this in my life. I hope I never fucking do again.

Good news: My future husband is gonna be on teevee getting a tattoo done by my other future husband. I think I may just melt into some sort of puddle of ecstasy.

Random: Aaron told me that Laura Kightlinger reminded him of me. Mmmyep.

I hope at some point I become coherent.

P.S. Why is it that every time I flip past Bravo "The Lost Boys" is on? It's always the same part too, where Michael is taking the bandage off of his hand and seeing how vampirically-healed he is. So bizarre.

It is pretty fucking apt if you think about it....

Tonight I got my fourth hit on this blog from someone searching google images for "hell beast" since apparently my picture comes up on the third page, though this post will probably make that count even higher.

For the past few days I've had that scene from Heathers in my head where Veronica burns her hand with the car lighter. It's all I've felt like doing, just having something overwhelmingly physically painful to distract me. I keep trying to make people punch me in the face, but every person I've asked is apparently too nice or something. Anyway. Tonight it was on tv and we started watching it right before that point. I still believe that is one of the best movies ever made. It does amazing things to my brain. Not necessarily good things though.

My whole body hurts right now. Unfortunately it's not the overwhelming physical pain that I'm looking for. Tomorrow may just kill me though, so that's something.

I'm going to bed now...

after a night of drinking that didn't help. I hope I don't wake up. Unless it's waking up from this reality.

Yes, melodrama is in full effect. If it doesn't work for you, fuck yourself.

I'm totally eating Fun Dip right now...

and that's about the only good thing I've got in my life at the moment. Wooo.

Enjoy these pictures that Charles posted on his blog of the pirate map inprogress thingy.

Recap of my night last night...

for no particular reason other than I took pictures so I must share them.


Went to hang out with Charles and Brett at their place. Becky was supposed to come over so that Brett could woo her with his Nativeness but she had a flight out Friday morning that she had to get to extra early because of stupid incresed terror level whatnots.

So Brett wooed us with his Nativeness instead:



Charles and I wrestled the other night and I ended up with a bruise in the grid pattern from his studded and spiked belt. So he and Garth played tic-tac-toe on it:





Charles and I then went in his room and he started drawing on his wall:





He wasn't happy with the flower, so I took over the work on that and he started coloring the other two pieces in:





Hooray for Artfagginess! I also updated the UKK with pictures from the pirate map Charles has been working on above the fireplace at their condo.