Wednesday, January 31, 2007
Tuesday, January 30, 2007
Links for 2007-01-30 [del.icio.us]
- news @ nature.com - Snakes that snack on poison - Predators take venom from prey and use it themselves.
Holy shit, that's awesome. - Restaurant Locator
Oh wtf......McDonalds now has a trip planner on their website so if you're going on a roadtrip you can have the locations of all the McDonalds along the way.
Links for 2007-01-29 [del.icio.us]
- SPIEGEL Interview with CIA's Former Europe Director: "We Probably Gave Powell the Wrong Speech" - International - SPIEGEL ONLINE - News
The former chief of the CIA's Europe division, Tyler Drumheller, discusses the United States foreign intelligence service's cooperation with Germany, the covert kidnapping of suspected terrorists and a Bush adminstration that ignored CIA advice and used w - If MSG is so bad for you, why doesn't everyone in Asia have a headache? | Food monthly | The Observer
This is great...I always wonder why most people who claim to be so sensitive to MSG have no problem eating shitloads of processed food, almost all of which contain MSG under the label of "Natural Flavoring", with no ill effects....Chinese Restaurant Syndrome, fo sho... - ruhlman.com: Guest Blogging: Bourdain
I love that my future husband is so hip to the internets that he guest-blogs....here he is talking about guest judging on Top Chef this season. - Science & Technology at Scientific American.com: Oldest women to give birth deceived clinic, paper says
Ugh....sometimes living in the future blows.
Monday, January 29, 2007
I am such a dork.
I'm watching Season 3 of Millennium on DVD and I just noticed that the doctor in this episode is the actress that plays Samantha Carter on Stargate SG1....seriously, dorktastic.
Update: Next episode...guy who played Spike on Buffy as ex-military crazy kidnapper...though I actually remember that and this episode from when it originally aired.
Scoliosis
So I have scoliosis. My mom has it so it's not a big surprise that I do as well, though I was in denial about it for a long time. When I got kidney stones a few years ago and had to get x-rays my doctor looked at them and said "Oh by the way, you have scoliosis." So there went the denial...ha. Anyway, I realized yesterday that I've never actually seen my spine or how much it curves so I had Chris take some pictures yesterday. The first one I upped the contrast on a little bit so that it's easier to see how far to the left my lower spine actually is. The second one, I had it traced with a sharpie so that it would really stand out.
Yeah, no wonder my back hurts all the time, eh?
Cape May County Herald
Ok, so there's this local paper here called the Cape May County Herald and in this paper they have a section called "Spout Off" which is basically like an internet messageboard only...it's in a paper. There don't seem to be any rules or guidelines for this "Spout Off" section and thus....it's fucking hilarious. Here are some of the better "letters" from the January 24th edition....these are not excerpts from letters, they are here in their entirety...also none of them are signed:
"Almost on a weekly basis, the Crest police have to harass the local teens (boys). I was wondering why? Is there an ongoing investigation I as a parent should know about? Truly these are a great bunch of boys."
"I have a test to see how illegals in our fine country can show their patriotism -- enlist and go to Iraq like real citizens, and if you survive then welcome to America."
"In reply to the North Cape May spouter from Jan. 17: I too am tired of the double standard white people have to endure. Why are beauty pageants open to all races, but they allow black beauty pageants which exclude all but black women? I'd watch the WET Channel. I have nothing to feel guilty for. My grandparents were poor farmers from Europe. We did not have anything to do with slavery."
"This is to who ever stole the riding lawn mower from the house on Fulling Mill Road in Rio Grande. How can you have the nerve to steal from a dead man? I hope you got your money's worth. I don't know how you can stand to look at yourself every day. And this is not the first time someone has stolen from that property."
"Whoever says that Jesus is a liberal should be reprimanded for defamation of character. Jesus never rewarded immoral lifestyles. When he forgave the woman who committed adultry, didn't he say sin no more and not more? Secondly, Jesus never confiscated wealth from the people and spent it foolishly and he never hated people that disagreed with him and he never advocated the murder of babies. Finally, he never was bigoted about people that believed in him the way liberals are. It's an insult to call Jesus a liberal and defamation of character."
"To the spouter about rent control: Why don't you buy a home? Realtors can work with you with as little as 5 percent down. Oh, you might have to pay a mortgage and contribute taxes."
"I really enjoyed having my business inspected by an inspector dressed like he was out for a run --no uniform, just jogging pants and a sweatshirt."
"I hope in the future the automakers will put diaper dispensers inthe cars so thoughtless people can stop throwing their childrens' diapers out the window. I am so sick of seeing them along the beach and streets and parking lots and especially my yard."
"Why are people not made to pay their child support? Do we enforce laws anymore?"
"Why do we have 9-1-1? I was on the parkway tonight on my way home from Atlantic City following someone who was weaving all over the road. I had two passengers with me, and I was afraid to even attempt to pass this person. I called 9-1-1 from three different phones to report this person, followed them for 22 miles (to their house) without the sight of even one police officer. The second 9-1-1 dispatcher tol me "I can't help you if you can't give me a better description of the vehicle." (I was unsure of the exact color of this "dark colored BMW-looking car with a license plate that starts with JIP.) I gave more than enough info on the vehicle, and updates of his location for him to be found. Not to mention, there was three state trooper cars parked at the barracks outside of Avalon. How is this possible?"
So yeah.....haha. I was gonna make snarky-ass comments about each letter, but I really think they speak for themselves. I love that there is absolutely no context for any of them. Also, I noticed that they have the "Spout Off" section on their site as well, so go there for more endlessly entertaining and entirely random bitching.
Links for 2007-01-28 [del.icio.us]
- CoolBusinessIdeas.com: Bone Wedding Ring
Insane. - Be the Perfect You that you can be!
Funny...but there are 900 of them! I cannot read them all! - Park, He Said - New York Times
A parking expert tries out the Lexus that can apparently parallel park itself.
Sunday, January 28, 2007
Silly Internet Quiz Time!
 | I am:Samuel R. "Chip" DelanyFew have had such broad commercial success with aggressively experimental prose techniques. |
Which Classical Composer are you?
Giacomo Puccini
The philandering Italian who crafted some of the most unforgettable operas ever written.
Ok I got bored of that pretty quickly.
Links for 2007-01-27 [del.icio.us]
- Slashfood Ate (8): Great Super Bowl Dip Ideas - Slashfood
I like dips...I don't give a fuck about the Super Bowl though. - instructables : Tostones (Fried Plantains)
Bananas are the only food I absolutely will not eat...but man I <3 plantains. - Being Better Students
Hmm...I'm really, really bad at being a student..
Saturday, January 27, 2007
Flickr
Just a little note....I remembered that I had a Flickr account from probably 2 years ago that I'd never used so I added a link to it on the sidebar here and am in the process of uploading pics to it. It's pretty much the same stuff as I've got on my Picasa account, I'm just going to be cutting out the racier shit so that I have a place to send my family to look at pics...ha. I've also been playing around with the mobile-uploading stuff, so there will be cellphone pics too (though those will most likely be here as well). That is all.
Links for 2007-01-26 [del.icio.us]
- Sex-Change Operations: Mistakes in God's Factory - International - SPIEGEL ONLINE - News
Biological male began undergoing hormone treatment at 12 in Germany...very good article. - Ballet, a Sex Change and a Small Revolution: The Odyssey of Jin Xing - International - SPIEGEL ONLINE - News
Jin Xing has a one-of-a-kind biography: born as a boy, he advanced to the rank of colonel in the Chinese army. Then came the sex change and the staggering career as a world-class prima ballerina. - Path to Freedom
The Dervaes Institute is an 'off the grid' homestead in Pasadena, CA that produces 3 tons of produce annually. It's all run from solar panels and biodiesel. Over 350 different plants and a handful of farm animals thrive on a 1/5 acre lot.
Thursday, January 25, 2007
Links for 2007-01-25 [del.icio.us]
- '\'No Catholic opt-out\'on adoption'
"You can either be against discrimination or you can allow for it. You can't be a little bit against discrimination." Sometimes Britain makes me happy. - I Want Your Skull
Art, Skulls, Toys, Blog! - The Collection
I totally need clothes that make it look like I have a giant bush!
Wednesday, January 24, 2007
I <3 Raeven, part III
me: so i cut chris' mom's hair the other day and she paid me in two packs of cigshahawhich is awesome cause they're fucking expensiveRaeven: dude are you in prison?
Tuesday, January 23, 2007
If this is it!
I am having a Huey Lewis attack....Raeven knows what I mean.
I can't wait til my life is mine again.
Links for 2007-01-22 [del.icio.us]
- Oddity of the day
HAHA....KKK members on a ferris wheel! - Public Rasterbation at I Make Things
Supercool - Local Food - FoodRoutes
Find local food, growers, farmer's markets, etc... - Home | burdastyle.com
I am occasionally really, really girly....for example, I really like to sew. Ha. Free patterns, bitches! - 'Hairless dog' species beats extinction - World Environment - MSNBC.com
I want a dog with a mohawk! - Wizard!
1995 web design + hilariously bad music + ginormous, over-inflated ego = WIZARD! The best thing on the internet! - Fresh Approach Cooking: Ricotta & Herb Dumplings
God, I'm starting to seem like a fat kid....I really do love food though.... - Pom Wonderful caves in to terrorists - Slashfood
Ever wanted to see a concrete example of a giant douche? I give you....this dude. - The World's Healthiest Foods
Super-useful.
Monday, January 22, 2007
Goddamn You Guitar Hero!
So what's worse than having to listen to wolfmother, alice in chains, foo fighters, and assorted other mediocre radio rock?
Listening to poorly done impressions of said bands, over and over and over, sometimes the entire song, sometimes just the beginning 5 times in a row while the person playing tries to not fuck up. And I'm not even in the same room.
Someone shoot me.
It all makes sense now!
So according to some British psychologist, today is "Blue Monday", also known as "The Unhappiest Day of the Year." Judging by my conversations with people lately, I think he's on to something. So at least feel happy that some dude in England thinks you're totally normal!
Or as Bas would say:
:( :( :(
LOL, FAG!
Sunday, January 21, 2007
Links for 2007-01-20 [del.icio.us]
- Appon's Thai Food Recipes: Japanese Mushroom Cakes ( Giew Za Je )
- RedHanded » I've Read Your Horoscope and You're No Hacker
Haha....oh astrology.... - Rolling Stone : Pork's Dirty Secret: The nation's top hog producer is also one of America's worst polluters
I read this a few weeks ago in the print mag....everytime I think I could possibly eat meat again I get reminded that it's just not worth it in the U.S. - Conservation Book Repair, a training manual by Artemis BonaDea
Sweet. - ..:Things My Boyfriend Says:..
Thought it was pretty funny at first...then I found out the boyfriend is French-Candian and now I hear it all in those ugly, ugly accents and I find it fucking hilarious. - Fatfree Vegan Kitchen
I am not vegan nor do I give a shit about fat-content or dieting or anything...but damn every recipe on this site looks amazing...
Saturday, January 20, 2007
Patrick Stewart and his erotic cakes...
So it seems people were confused by my earlier reference to this SNL skit...so here's the transcript, cause I can't find a clip online of it.
Sexy Cakes
Baker.....Patrick Stewart
Young Man.....Rob Schneider
Gay Guy 1.....Tim Meadows
Gay Guy 2.....David Spade
Woman.....Julia Sweeney
[ young Man enters Sexy Cakes bakery ]
Baker: Hi! Welcome to Sexy Cakes, the erotic bakery.
Young Man: I walk by this place, I never thought I'd go inside it.
Baker: Well, I think you'll find that it's a little more fun than an ordinary bakery.
Young Man: Yeah, my friend's having a bachelor party, and I thought it might be kind of fun if I got him an erotic cake.
Baker: Well, you have come to the right place. I have the perfect sexy cake for a bachelor party. [ opens box ] Oh, what about this one. What do you think?
Young Man: Looks like a woman going to the bathroom.
Baker: Yeah! It's very sexy!
Young Man: What else do you have?
Baker: Oh, I understand.. it's not, perhaps, your cup of tea. Perhaps, maybe this sexy cake might be more up your alley. [ opens box ]
Young Man: This is the exact same cake.
Baker: No, no, no.. this is chocolate.
Young Man: Yeah, but it's still a woman going to the bathroom.
Baker: Exactly! [ customers walk in ] Oh.. could you excuse me for a moment?
Gay Guy 1: Hi, we're here to pick up our cake.
Gay Guy 2: [ sighs ] Yes, the man-on-man lemon meringue.
Baker: Right. [ retrieves cake ] I took a little artistic license with this one, but, well, I think you'll enjoy the results.
Gay Guy 1: Hey, this is a woman going to the bathroom.
Baker: Yeah, it's very exciting, isn't it? That'll be $15.
Gay Guy 1: We wanted a cake of two guys having sex.
Baker: Yeah, I know.. I guess you could say I sexied it up for you! No extra charge.
Gay Guy 2: [ whispering to his buddy ] The party's tonight.. [ to Baker ] We'll take it.
Baker: Thank you! [ customers leave, returns to Young Man ] Uh, you'll have to excuse me, it has been like this all day.
Young Man: What other types of cakes do you have?
Baker: Well, why don't we take a look at our catalogue.. [ opens catalogue ] Now, you see this, it shows every sexy, titilating cake we offer. Oh, now here's a woman squatting behind some bushes - the leaves are made of spun sugar. And.. [ laughs ] ..here's a lady using a little mazipan port-o-potty.
Young Man: So, all your cakes are women going to the bathroom?
Baker: Yeah. What's your point?
Young Man: Well, don't you have anything else?
Baker: Maybe you don't understand - this is an erotic bakery.
Young Man: I'm sorry, I just don't find this very erotic.
Baker: A woman gonig to the bathroom, you don't find it erotic?
Young Man: No, not really.
Baker: Well, then, what, pray tell, would you suggest we do put on our erotic cakes?
Young Man: I don't know.. people having sex.. female and male genitalia.. you know, something like that.
Baker: Well, if that's what you're after, I suggest you try Hostess or Sara Lee!
Young Man: Can't you just make a cake with a couple on it having sex?
Baker: Alright, look, I'll tell you what I'll do.. I will make a cake with a woman and a man going to the bathroom. And, that way, you'll be happy, and your friends will be happy.
Young Man: I don't think my friends would like that, either.
Baker: Well, I would certainly like to meet these friends of yours sometime.
Young Man: Look, could we just have a cake with sex and no going to the bathroom?
Baker: May I remind you that you are going to have to eat this cake?
Young Man: I'll tell you what - just give me a regular cake with nothing on it.
Baker: [ closes catalogue abruptly ] I'm sorry. I'm going to have to ask you to leave.
Young Man: Why?
Baker: This is some kind of joke, isn't it? Who put you up to this, a fraternity?! You get out! Go on, get out of here, young man!
[ Young Man runs out of the bakery ]
[ Woman enters bakery ]
Woman: Hi. Um.. it's my fiance's birthday.. um, can I get a cake shaped like a woman going to the bathroom?
Baker: Ab-so-lutely! [ winks at camera ]
[ fade out ]
I'll never be free, If I'm not free now...
I know I've used that title for a posting before, but it's just so evocative that I need it again...ha.
I was thinking about the concept of fairness and how it's just this ridiculous ideal that everyone has to agree on to make work, and no one ever does. I never expect life to be fair but I always expect people to be....how stupid is that? And all it does is lead to frustration where like...I'm sitting at home railing because someone has done something to make me mad or sad or whatever and they're off enjoy their life and going about their business and I'm stuck feeling like shit....we've all been there...it sucks but it's entirely self inflicted...humans are the least fair things on the planet...why do we expect so much?
Moving on....
I'm coming home, bitches. May as well make the official announcement. It's gonna be weird and bittersweet and all of that stupid shit. Hopefully I won't end up there for too long. I definitely don't want it to be a permanent thing. As weird as it's going to be, I'm pretty excited. Being out here has reminded me of all the stuff there actually is out there. I mean, I'm sure I'll get over it in less than a month, but man that is going to be one action-packed, super month. Anyone want to find a job for me? Haha.
Links for 2007-01-19 [del.icio.us]
- Into Me/Out of Me
I totally want to see this exhibition. - Chinese New Year Party at Bon Appétit Menus at Epicurious.com
- MAKE: Blog: Cafe Pique Nique - Mobile Barrista
I want a VW bus soooooo bad! This is just one more reason.... - BBC NEWS | Business | MySpace is sued over child safety
Dear Internet, Make sure my kid doesn't talk to child molestors...I'm far too busy to do so. In fact, why don't you just take over the job of parenting alltogether? Also I will sue your ass if you don't! Kthanxbye! - Everyday Wonderland » 5 Ideas for Stressful Living
Haha...I am so guilty of so much of this. - Porn Bread - Erotic Recipes
All I can think of is Patrick Stewart and his erotic cakes of women pissing.... - Sensory Impact [Objects / Furniture / Spaces]
I want. I must make one of these as soon as possible. - BBC NEWS | Entertainment | Cola named after rock group Lordi
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! - The Morning News - Red, White, and You by Todd Levin
I was drinking wine while I read this and laughing like a retard
Friday, January 19, 2007
Multimedia message
The Argentine wine I'm drinking totally fails The Morning News wine choosing formula.
But for now we are young, let us lay in the sun, and count every beautiful thing we can see...
I woke up to a feeling I really hadn't felt since high school. It was fucking uncomfortable and I hated it and I don't want to do it again. I thought those days were over and I'm not going to let that shit keep happening.
Anyway....after that and reading about how Gonzales said that the constitution does not say that every citizen has the right to habeus corpus (Shut up...I know it calls it a privilege...don't fucking care) I made some super artfag comment to Bas about how if I could look at the world like it was a Moliere play I would be so much happier and more amused (also it would make me a really, really good happy nihilist)...and I realize now that I need some of that. I want things to amuse me and I want to not be so fucking cynical. It makes me miss out on experiences and life and stupid shit that probably would make me not hate everything so much.
Also...I am soooooo disconnected with the real world right now. Life is such a blur. I looked at the clock on my computer and it said that today is Friday and my mind just reeled. I tried to think back to the last time I knew what day it was...which I believe was on Tuesday cause I kinda recall asking Chris if it was Tuesday....but then I couldn't remember how many days had passed between then and now. So weird.
Links for 2007-01-18 [del.icio.us]
- Today In Suing The Homeless - Gawker
Uh..... - Archinect : Features : Architecture's Second Life
This article is rather funny and insightful. - Good Math, Bad Math : Sex Crimes and Illegal Immigrants: Misuse of Statistics for Politics
This is so good.
Thursday, January 18, 2007
What the fuck, SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA?!
So apparently the pipes on my mom's house froze the other night. And it fucking snowed in Malibu......
.....
Ride the apocalypse, bitches.
Links for 2007-01-17 [del.icio.us]
- ToyVault - Cthulhu
Oh man...I'd seen the plushies before but the pillow/book thing is awesome. - instructables : Rice Cooker Bread
So awesome
.
Wednesday, January 17, 2007
Ugh...
Just a note....I disabled anonymous commenting on here. It may be fun for some people to leave coy, cryptic comments but I just don't feel like dealing with it right now. You know who you are, person in Texas who likes red heads. Ha.
I am fucking poison. I make everyone I love leave.
Everyone who gives a fuck about me needs to be aware of this. I will hurt you and you will hate me. I do it every time. People are better without me in their lives though....I can only hope that hating me makes it easier for them to find their way. I was never worth it.
What the Fuck, NEW JERSEY?!
Two days ago it was 70 degrees outside....at night. Today, according to Google, it's fucking 21 degrees at 1 pm.
Tuesday, January 16, 2007
Links for 2007-01-16 [del.icio.us]
- Banksy : Shop
Banksy's giving away images to be used for wallpapers, prints, etc.. - streetart googlemap
Oh wow....this is radness. - 7 Rules for Maximizing Your Creative Output
Ego 1.0? Is he fucking serious? Ugh. - Filthy Wal-Mart: a Photo Essay - a photoset on Flickr
God...so glad I refuse to shop at Walmart...ha.
.
Losing sight of what and who I was again
Sometimes I don't want the future to happen. I think I'm one of those people that just wants to live in the past. There are obviously reasons that things turned out the way they have....valid reasons....but right now I can't even see them and I'm just pissed off. I'm fucking scared of the future yet I look at the past and hate the obvious cycles I repeat in my life. I make my life complicated, I make things stressful.
I just made some really good food though. Took a pita and put red-pepper pesto, black olives, sliced red peppers, fake chicken, and this semi-soft white cheese on there and stuck it in the oven, like a mini-pizza thing. Too bad I burned the edges and my mouth...but it still tasted rad.
Links for 2007-01-15 [del.icio.us]
- Inhabitat » VERTICAL GARDENS by Patrick Blanc
So cool. - Accidental Hedonist - Green Corn Soup
Oh my....this sounds amazing. - Grocery staff finds drugs in banana boxes | Oddly Enough | Reuters.com
Today I officially wish I worked in a Dutch grocery.
Monday, January 15, 2007
I'm medicated, how are you?
So I just totally took nap for 4 hours or something. Oh allergy medicine.
Last time I saw you We had just split in two.
Oh man I wanna watch Hedwig so bad right now...I'm rocking "The Origin of Love" and it just kills me....
So when I was driving back from dropping Chris off at work Steve Perry's "Oh Sherry" came on and I sang my ass off. And it occured to me while I was doing so that Steve wrote that song about his real, then-girlfriend Sherry. And how it was probably good that their relationship didn't work out because if they would've gotten married her name would be Sherry Perry and that is just far to "The Wedding Singer"-Juilia-Guilia-80's for words.
My head is in such a weird place. I totally got called out on my shit on Saturday. I still feel fucked up from it. Raeven and I just had a heart to heart and it brought it back. I think no matter what I do in life I will always somehow hurt the people close to me. I really do need to stop acting like a fucking idiot. I'm sure even in doing that, I'll hurt someone. Ha.
It's like 70 fucking degrees here. So much for winter, eh? It's making my allergies go batshit. I think today shall be a day of being out of it on allergy medicine and doing surveys.
Also, I hate when people comment anonymously on my blog...haha.
Sunday, January 14, 2007
Saturday, January 13, 2007
Sometimes I am such a piece of shit...
Seriously. I'm really starting to not like the person I am right now...and I have no idea how I got this way.
Anyway, I'm sure most of this is just part of my "I was really, really drunk last night" emotional hangover thing I get the day after. At least I was able to go back to sleep this morning. I really wanna rock the blanket cave today though.
Aside from the drinking last night there was also sushi. And general debauchary. All in all, not bad.
Oh and here's something to top off my mood....Garrett literally just called me from San Francisco. He, Cara, and Chad randomly decided it was vacation time and drove up there. I guess Journey came on while they were driving and it made him think of me. I miss him. AND I AM SO FUCKING JEALOUS RIGHT NOW. Ha.
Friday, January 12, 2007
Someone shoot me...
I just realized that I feel like a song written by Morrissey. I seriously don't deserve to live...haha.
Links for 2007-01-11 [del.icio.us]
- Nina G. Jablonski - Always Revealing, Human Skin Is an Anthropologist’s Map - New York Times
- Limit your surfing with the Kiwi Cloak - Lifehacker
The fact that software like this has to exist because people have absolutely no fucking will-power or self-control makes me laugh....and kinda makes me sad as well... - Tokyo café society goes for a hipper diet - International Herald Tribune
There are some interesting bits in this article, though I completely hate how it was written.... - McSweeney's Internet Tendency: The iPhone: A User's Guide.
Funny, Funny. - Welcome to the store at 826 Valencia
Holy shit there's a pirate store in SF....and it looks ten times cooler than the one in North Hollywood. Especially cause you know....it's in SF and not North Hollywood. - Deconstructed Beauty ::galleries::
I like some of these galleries....though some of the stuff is pretty derivative. - Inhabitat » REVERSE GRAFFITI: Clean Green Street Art
Holy hell, that is cool.
Thursday, January 11, 2007
I <3 Raeven, part II....
Apparently the best thing about me is: "She is more emotional than anyone could ever imagine and she likes to hide it with nyquil naps and sexiness."
Haha. Very few people could sum me up that well. Then again, very few people know me that well...heh.
I <3 Raeven
Raeven: hahahahai think MSI has run out of creativityya know like you can only scream about faggots and anal for so many songs
And I realize that it's useless....
Sometime...maybe 3 weeks or so ago...I made a list of things to do when I was bored. Now the things on that list have become boring...haha. Though to be honest, they were more of "absolute last resort" type of things and thus weren't that interesting to me to begin with.
I've read Metrophage and Blind Shrike, both by Richard Kadrey, over the past week or so. They aren't great, but you know...they're entertaining enough to pass the time. Of the two, I prefer Metrophage, but I've always been way more into cyberpunk fiction than any sort of futuristic fantasy shit, which is what Blind Shrike is.
I've been thinking about school the past few days. I miss it sometimes. I'm sure it's just in the abstract because I fucking hate school when I'm actually there. I think I just feel so under-stimulated. Everything here is just emotion for me. My mind is absolutely dormant and all of my creativity is absolutely gone. I miss angry, passionate people and sitting and talking about ideas and topics for hours for no fucking reason. I miss learning things, on my own and from other people. This is all just weird reflection...and I couldn't go back to school even if I wanted to...at least not until I figured something else out to study...but that requires making a decision...ha.
I'm trying to figure out how to break my lethargy. It's such a self-perpetuating cycle, and I can blame it all I want on boredom and disinterest, but that's also not going to solve anything. I mean, there really is nothing worse than wanting to do things and not being able to, because it's so, so frustrating....but I also feel like giving in to that idea is just the height of laziness. And I truly hate being lazy. I think I just feel like if I just sit back and take it....if I don't do anything because "there isn't anything to do anyway" I'm just giving up like every other miserable asshole who makes this society represent everything I hate...and god knows, I'm a stupid, stubborn rebel before I'm anything else...haha.
I wish I had my stupid, stubborn rebel friends though. It's a lot easier when you have people to bounce things off of, to plot and play with. Or at least people who actually want to do things...haha.
Wednesday, January 10, 2007
Nicotine, valium, vicodin, marijuana, ecstasy and alcohol. Co-Co-Co-Co-Co-Cocaine.
I got real shit-faced last night on some concoction I invented of really cheap tequila, even cheaper vodka, cranberry juice, and lime juice, but then had trouble sleeping. Emoness and insomnia, though I'll not go into the bitching at the moment. I've been up since Like 5:30 am with my uterus kicking my ass but for the past couple of hours I've been in the warm and fuzzy arms of auntie percoset....so here's a myspace top 8 survey! Now with 12.5 % more dutchmen!
Top 8:
1. Raeven
2. Charles
3. Chris
4. Bas
5. Garrett
6. Valerie
7. Jens Lekman
8. Ross
1. Is number 6 your best friend?
No, but she is my sister
2. Are you in love with number 2?
I'm sure a part of me always will be and let's leave it at that.
3. Have you ever lied to number 4?
Haha...I think brtual fucking honesty is the main purpose of our friendship.
4. Do you know a secret about number 7?
None that the other shit-tons of people who listen to his music don't know.
5. Describe the relationship between number 8 and number 5.
Haha...Garrett used to think Ross was really hot before he met him. Then he met him and thought he was the most annoying person on earth and lost all sexual attraction to him. I think he even went supersonic on him a few times. Now I believe he is cool with Ross, for whatever that's worth, but still does not want to do him.
6. What is the best thing about number 3?
He plays a very, very convincing retard. Also, I'm pretty sure he's nicer to me than anyone in the world has ever been.
7. What is the best thing about number 1?
A) She is completely, unabashedly female. B)She is nuts...but not in the typical "female" way that point A may have lead you to believe.
8. When was the last time you saw number 5?
A few days before I left San Diego back in October I believe.
9. Describe the relationship between number 1 and number 3?
I believe they are, at the least, sufficiently entertained by one another. Though they've only met a couple of times.
10. Have you ever danced with number 7?
No :( God that would be awsome though....I would so do the hokey-pokey with him. I mean that literally...not in some sly "I really mean bang him" way....
11. How long have you known number 4?
Jesus....6 or 7 years?
12. Have number 2 and number 7 ever dated?
Well....seeing as Jens is a Swedish musician who is straight and Charles is an American guy who is straight...and they've never met....no....but if they wanted to get married they totally could in Sweden!
13. Have you ever done drugs with number 1?
Simon guey
14. Have you ever been in a fight with number 8?
Nope
16. Does number 6 have a boyfriend/girlfriend?
Not that I'm aware of
17. Have you ever been a co-worker with number 3?
Haha....no.
18. Do you like number 6?
Sure
19. Has number 1 ever met your mother?
Duh.
21. How did you meet number 6?
When my mom popped her out.
22. Did you ever accidentally physically hurt number 5?
Haha....probably. But he's better at accidentally hurting himself....by sitting on his own balls.
24. Has number 4 ever seen you naked?
Who hasn't?
25. What is the best memory you have with number 1?
I think I would cry if I had to sit and dig through all of them to pick out the best....so I'm not going to.
26. What is one of number 2's best qualities?
He's incredibly honest. And funny.
27. Do you live close to 7?
No, but man do I wish I lived anywhere close to Sweden.
28. What is number 2's favorite food?
Alcohol? Hehe....actually I believe it's garlic pizza with some roasted veggies on it.
29. Out of your top 8, which one would you say is the funniest?
Chris and Bas are both punny as fuck so that automatically disqualifies them ;)
They're all super funny for different reasons though.
30. Who is the most flirtatious?
Why, hello Raeven!
31. What do you think of number 6?
She's my sister. Haha. And she is a funny, funny drunk.
32. How long have you known number 5 for?
fuck man....like 11 years
33. Which one of your top 8 friends drinks the most or goes out?
Charles drinks the most....Garrett probably goes out the most.
35. If you could change one thing about number 7, what would it be?
He would tour places in the u.s. that I'm actually in more often.
36. Say something nice about number 1?
She's a cunty cunty cunt-face...ha.
37. Which one of your top 8 friends lives the farthest away from you?
Jens
38. Which one of your top 8 friends do you hang out with the most?
Chris....solely because I live with him and everyone else lives in other states/countries...haha
39. Out of your top 8 friends, who is the loudest?
Raeven most likely....Chris is pretty loud though.
40. The quietest?
Jens Lekman...he's never said a word to me.
42. What kind of car does number 4 have?
A Pontiac Bonneville I believe? Unless it got fucked in that accident a while ago...I don't remember.
43. What is your fondest memory of number 8?
Haha....I just remembered the other day about him getting belligerantly drunk in Vegas last time we were there and getting half-naked and yelling at people and then ordering expensive room service....so that one currently....also piggy-backing it up the escalator and eating shit was pretty awesome that trip...
44. Have you traveled anywhere with number 2?
Vegas, Tempe, SF, Yosemite, Houston, Mexico, Catalina.....there may be more....
45. If you gave number 4 $100 dollars tonight, what would he/she spend it on?
Probably takeout from the Chinese/Italian restaurant...haha....and some Tullamore Dew and some PPV porn. With whatever was left over he would buy some more camo-shorts or some other sort of bro-ish clothing.
46. What is number 6's best quality?
She's very protective of me.
47. Would you kiss number 1?
I have several times.
48. How did you meet number 3?
That is a discussion for another day internets.....
49. If you had to buy number 5 a gift, what would you choose to give him/her?
Any of the following shows on DVD: Stargate, West Wing, Star Trek (specifically TNG), The Golden Girls, Land of the Lost, The Bionic Woman
or
a picture of Bas naked.
50. Does number 2 drink?
Yes
51. Describe number 8 in two words:
Rosy cheeked.
52. How many of your top 8 friends have you actually met?
7
Tuesday, January 09, 2007
Links for 2007-01-09 [del.icio.us]
- WebHome . Anarchistu
Perhaps once a month Boing Boing posts something cool.....and that I haven't seen before.
It's true.
Raeven: i left my man pants at home
marie: haha...my man pants are way too big for me
marie: i think i gave them away
Raeven: haha yes
We get further and further and further Further from the world
It's a quarter of nine and I've been awake for the past half hour. I didn't go to sleep til sometime past 3 am and I feel like utter shit. It's so hard for me to sleep here. I never, ever sleep a full night. It's like I picked the loudest possible house to move to, and I thought that was living with Scott and three yappy dogs....go figure. Heh. Granted, I am the world's lightest sleeper but it still sucks.....I wish I had some fucking Ambien or something. Or some real Benedryl at least. That shit knocks my ass out.
Also....I really am queen of making stupid decisions. I leave California and then I find out there's a fucking goth skate night!@#@!@!# Seriously....I think that may be the funniest thing I could ever imagine...and it's real! And I can't go and laugh my ass off cause I'm in the middle of nowhere. Also, on the other side of the country but whatever.....AND THEN! Fucking Schwarzenegger actually might do something useful! Cause jesus fuck not having health insurance sucks. I want my fucking prescription drugs and ability to go "Hey I think I have a tumor, let me go get this checked out so I don't freak out for months!" And speaking of drugs....fuck this place.....yeah.....haha.
I was telling Bas the other day that I realized when we were driving home from Philadelphia that I literally feel like I'm in high school....except without going to school, but then again I really didn't when I was in high school. But just the way I felt then....like that desperation and frustration, that whole feeling like you have no options, you don't own anything, you don't have anything...no car, etc..etc.. ....you don't do anything except try to get out of your house to get drunk because you can't really drink at home unless you hide out in your room or something.....haha....the funny thing is I totally had way more of a life in high school....anyway....so I was having all of these thoughts....and then I realized that I'm going to be fucking 26 years old in less than four months....and I haven't felt like less of an adult, in all of the bad ways anyway, in probably 13 years.
When I was in high school four months would've seemed like forever. Now it just seems like a couple of weeks. Why does the passage of time seem to speed up so drastically as you get older? To show you just how quickly your life passes you by? To show just how much "nothing" you've been doing with your life, how much time you're just fucking wasting, hoping that something will change?
I know that a lot of it is my fault. I made a lot of these decisions for myself. I do tend to sit idly and bitch. I think that's the problem with not believing in anything....you have nothing to work for. You have nothing you want to accomplish. One of the hugest things I realized about myself last year is that I have no problem with failure but I am ridiculously afraid of/uninterested in accomplishment and success. Chalk that shit up to my martyr complex I suppose.
Ha....christ I could go on and on but this is just fucking self-indulgent bullshit anyway. Judging from the past few weeks of posts on here....mornings are not good times for me. Which sucks...I used to love them. I guess this is what comes when you have absolutely no expectations of anything interesting happening....haha.
Links for 2007-01-08 [del.icio.us]
- Orgasmic Mac ‘n’ Cheese - What We’re Eating - A Food & Recipe Blog
Holy Hell....I think I could eat this until I die.
Monday, January 08, 2007
If I were any gayer I'd be wearing flannel and a knee-brace.....
Yesterday Chris and I went to Philadelphia and went to museums. It was rad. First we went to some art museum that I don't know the name of but they had suits of armor and some really boring American furniture and shit and a really cool exhibit on Mexican post-revolution printmaking. I super-love Mexican art and the tradition behind it...I think it was one of the first ways I felt conciously tied to a culture that I had tried to break ties with earlier in life....haha. I think the only thing we got pictures of was the Japanese teahouse thing:
Oh....we also got a picture of this sweet-ass ride parked outside the museum:
Yes, that is a flaming-skull covered sun shade. Rock.
Then we went to the Mutter Museum which was super-duper cool. I totally remember watching a Discovery Channel show about it and thinking about how cool it would be to go there but I probably never would because seriously....why the fuck would I ever be in Philadelphia? As I told Chris, "The east coast was never even on my radar of places I wanted to go"...haha...oh life.
Then we went to this Belgian tavern:
It owned. They had Chimay on tap. And like every other delicious Belgian beer (because seriously...the Belgians really do make the best beers ever). They also had pretty much every beer from anywhere you could think of available in bottles. Including a bunch of Stone...crazy. And we ate frietjes....which is pronounced free-chuss (I know because I asked bas..haha) and is apparently just Dutch/Flemish for "french-fries" even though they make you think it's gonna be special or something...haha....they were good though. I wish that place was like...on the corner cause I could seriously rock it every night.
So yeah....that was my Sunday. It ruled. Things like that remind me to pull myself out of my fucking martyr complex...haha....surrounding circumstances in my life kind of suck...or at least aren't ideal...but what's at the core...the shit that actually matters....is rather awesome.
My dreams erupt while in my bed.....
I just woke up. I had a dream my sister and I won a house in California from some weird contest thing we decided to enter. My friends (I believe it was Raeven and Garrett) went out to a swamp to find tadpoles for me to make me happy but they couldn't find them. So they brought me back some frog eggs in one bag.....and an AXOLOTL in the other one! I was super excited but then the axolotl was little and scary looking and I was afraid to touch it and it kept trying to crawl out of the bag cause somehow with its pure evil it could open the zip-lock part. So I kept futily trying to close this bag and not crush it but also not come in contact with it at all. I think I woke up during this epic struggle...haha. My mind is so strange sometimes.
Saturday, January 06, 2007
Taking a cue from Raeven...
I'm enough cold medicine that I can barely move, much less find ways to unboreify (that's totally a word...I just fucking coined it, assholes) myself. So taking a cue from my BFFFF (Best Fucking FUBU-wearing Friend Forever) I'm doing dumb myspace surveys to pass the time....learn more things about me than you would ever care to know, some of which may not be true at all!
Have you ever _____ with your top 6?
(two people in my top 8 I don't know, so these are the 6 that I do)
| 1. Raeven 2. Charles 3. Chris 4. Garrett 5. Valerie 6. Ross 1. Have you ever danced with 3? I don't think so, though I tried to make him when I was drunk at a gay bar once. 2. How did you meet number 5? She came out of my mother's vagina when I was a year and a half, so we were introduced pretty quickly. 3. Have you ever gotten drunk with number 4? I have gotten very drunk with him....I don't know how drunk he's ever gotten with me though...haha 4. Has 1 been to your house? Yes 5. Has number 2 ever seen you naked? Haha...I think he saw me naked the first week he met me...and then like every day after that for several years 6. Have you ever gone shopping with 5? Yes, and we both pretty much hate it. 7. Have you ever seen 6 in a swimsuit? I, in fact, have. 8. Have you met 1's family? Some of them...I mean not like her extended crazy family. 9. Do you know 1's middle name? Faye 10. Have you ever eaten anything in front of 6? We haven't had a threesome, if that's what you're getting at.... 11. Do you trust number 2? totally 12. Have you ever hated 3? I've told him I hate him more times than I can count 13. Why is number 1 your number 1? See BFFFF explanation above. 14. When's the last time you talked to 5 in person? Like two and a half months ago. 15. Are any of your top 6 family members? Yes 16. Has anyone in your top 6 seen you cry? All of them except for Ross I think 17. Have you ever done something dangerous with number 6? Irish people...need I say more? 18. Have you ever slept in the same bed with 6? Don't believe so....I have slept in his bed though, he just wasn't in it. 19. Do you think 4 and 5 would make a good couple? Hahaha....duh. 20. Would 2 do anything for you? I'd like to think so.... 21. Has 1 ever helped you out? More times than I care to think about.... |
Fifty Random Retarded Questions That I *Swear* I Won't Lie About
1. How tall are you?
5'
2. Have you ever smoked heroin?
Once or twice
3. Do you own a gun?
Noooo
5. Do you get nervous before "meeting the parents"?
Not much makes me nervous....including that.
6. What do you think of hot dogs?
That morningstar farms makes the only good veggie ones.
7. What's your favorite Christmas song?
Fairytale of New York by the Pogues, Run Away With Me by Jens Lekman, pretty much anything off of the Vandals Xmas Album.....and I do like Christmas Reindeer by The Knife even though I don't think of it as a Christmas song.
8. What do you prefer to drink in the morning?
Coffee and plenty of it.
9. Can you do push ups?
Yes
10. Is your bathroom clean?
I don't really have a bathroom to call my own so it doesn't count even if it is.
11. What's your favorite piece of jewelry?
My celtic knotish bracelet thing that I left at home.
12. Do you like painkillers?
Who doesn't? (Fucking liar, yes you do)
13. What is your secret weapon to lure in the opposite sex?
Telling them they'll eventually fall in love with me....actually I'm just trying to be honest but apparently it works....
14. Do you hate any of your family members?
Do my mother's dog-children count?
15. Do you have a dog?
My mom has three...they aren't really mine.
16. Middle Name?
Elizabeth
17. Name 3 thoughts at this exact moment?
1)Since when do I get colds?
2)My teeth hurt
3)I hope to god I can get boredom-narcolepsy today.
18. what's your normal bed time?
I guess around 2 am.
19. Name 3 drinks you regularly drink:
Coffee....Water....um....Reheated Coffee?
19. What time did you wake up today?
8 am
21. Current worry?
That I'll never figure out what the fuck I want.
23. Current hate?
Boredom
24. Favorite place to be?
Not here.
25. Least favorite place to be?
Here.
27. Do you own slippers?
Yeah
29. Do you burn or tan?
Burn mainly....occasionally it'll turn to tan.
30. Favorite color(s)?
Grey...dark green I like a lot as well.
31. Would you be a pirate?
It's all I've dreamt of my entire life....le sigh.
32. Last time you kissed someone?
This morning
33. What songs do you sing in the shower?
None....I used to sing a lot in the shower though....back when I could still sing.
35. What's in your pockets right now?
Nothing
36. Last thing/person that made you laugh?
Myself....I have a lot of funny thoughts and I will totally laugh out loud at them without even thinking about it.
37. Best bed sheets you had as a child?
Let's see...I remember having Strawberry Shortcake and My Little Pony when I was really little....then I graduated to those good ol' New Kids on the Block ones. Hell yeah.
38. Have you had any injuries?
Does chronic hate from my body count?
39. If you could cheat on your spouse, would you?
Well if I could, it wouldn't be cheating would it?.....Or is this more like, if the opportunity arose? Yeah, probably. I have no morals. And I'm a whore.
40. Are your parents still together?
nope
41. Who is your loudest friend?
Raeven
42. Who is your most silent friend?
Hmm....no idea...they're all louder than I am
43. Does someone hate you?
Always
44. Do you wish on shooting stars?
On occasion
45. What is your favorite book?
The Great Gatsby....shut the fuck up.
46. What is your favorite candy?
Fun Dip
47. What song do/did you want played at your wedding?
"It ain't no fun(if the homies can't have none)"
48. What song do you want played at your funeral?
Lay Me Low...or Death Is Not The End...probably both...
49. What were you doin at 12 AM last night?
Taking a shower I think.
50. What was the first thing you thought of when you woke up?
Please don't let it really be time to get up.
Friday, January 05, 2007
Here's a little rant....
I was just reading this and it got me thinking about something....
How the hell did we get to the point in the world where the job of "trend predictor" was created and why the fuck do we value it? Isn't that the same thing as valuing the opinion of the "psychic" down the street with the neon hand in her window who will tell you all about your future, based on some quick analysis of clues and hints she garners from her interaction with you? Except for some reason the psychic is a fraud out to steal your money and these "trend spotters" are the driving force behind marketing and are actually listened to by companies everywhere. Yet they both do the same thing....analyze available data and make some semi-random guesses. And if you read that transcript and see the things they're actually predicting as trends....that shit is even vaguer and more chock full o'bullshit than anything you'll hear from a psychic. Oh, and pardon my fucking puking at the BBC calling them "prophets"......
Keep consuming. Do it.
Links for 2007-01-04 [del.icio.us]
- Make your own KFC Famous Bowl - Slashfood
Now Raeven can make a home-cooked meal for Armando!
Thursday, January 04, 2007
Raeven wins the gouge-out-eyes contest for today...
However, I am sick. And it kinda sucks. Though it's kind of entertaining because I haven't been sick in so long.
Last night Chris, Bill, Maria, and I drove around looking for somewhere to drink at like midnight. Of course, since this place is the devil there really wasn't anywhere open so we ended up at this divey bar like a block from Chris' house. Ridiculous...haha. There were really, really drunk white trash in there and one of the chicks tried to pick a fight with the bartender. I have no idea what it was over really but I learned two things:
1. When a drunken local screams "cunt" it can sound like there are 3 different vowels and several syllables in that little word.
2. When the same drunken woman screams "I will fuck your ass!" to another woman she is trying to goad into fighting her......it's really, really funny.
Tuesday, January 02, 2007
Monday, January 01, 2007
The World Just Keeps Turning...
The same song is stuck in my head as was last New Year's....and going back and reading my post from last January 1st I feel so fucking amazed that through all the shit that happened this last year, not much has changed within me apparently. Though I wish I was on the manic side of things still....how the fuck did the two worst years of my life end up coming exactly 10 years apart anyway? Oh universe....you are a fucking riot.
I had a super fun meltdown last night. I haven't quite recovered from it. At least I've kind of acknowledged the things that I'd been feeling and didn't want to admit. I'm still just as fucking confused as ever though. It's been raining all night and morning....how stupidly fitting. I don't want to be fucking depressed. Also fitting: I'm spending the first day of the new year alone. In a room. Yay me!
Maybe I haven't been trying hard enough, I don't know. I think I lost the sense of adventure and the man pants are just not fitting right now, ha. Bas and I were talking about how "newness" is draining....and it's really true. It's all I've had for 2 months and it's so incredibly overwhelming sometimes. It's weird because everything after last spring was a sort of "newness" for me, but somehow it was exciting or interesting or something. Enough to keep me going and enthused about life and doing things. Enough to not be afraid of anything. I feel fucking weak right now.
Anyhow....maybe I should just go cry like a giant pink V, eh? Haha. Ignore me....look at pictures instead:
Oh....and the song I have stuck in my head?
happy new year
january sky like a slate wiped clean
and stillness of air where nothing has been
wait for your word as if to say
another last chance lives from today
happy new year - the world just keeps turning
day into night, night into day
holding on tight, millions all hoping
something like love will light up the way
dying for change, but the feeling won't last
summer will come and be over too fast
grow into sun, fade into rain
a miniature life to live over again
happy new year - the world just keeps going
tumbling round, screaming through space
holding on tight, millions all hoping
something like love will light up their face
happy new year to everyone hurting
praying this time it all becomes clear
here when the light is pale and uncertain
happy new year
happy new year
It's by a band called Arco....I would listen to it right now because it fits so perfectly but then I think I'd probably off myself...ha. Happy New Year, douchefags.
Links for 2006-12-31 [del.icio.us]
- icon | 042 | news: taxinge piazza
Who loves Sweden?...Oh right, me. - LOUNGE72™ - Design portal & ezine | 2007 PDF Calendar
Neato. - La Tartine Gourmande » Blog Archive » Preparing for a New Year’s Eve Appetizer — Préparation d’une entrée de réveillon
MMmmmmmmmmmmmmIWantToEatThis
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