My friends slay me...

(10:46:06 PM) Marie: i see
(10:46:11 PM) Marie: maybe i am a sociopath
(10:46:12 PM) Marie: ha
(10:46:36 PM) Micah: heheh
(10:46:56 PM) Micah: it wouldn't be the weirdest thing about you :)
(10:47:03 PM) Marie: haha it's true
(10:47:18 PM) Marie: but i mean i cried IN PUBLIC about the andrew crap
(10:47:22 PM) Marie: so i must have some feelings
(10:47:23 PM) Marie: ha
(10:47:25 PM) Micah: i know!!!!!!!
(10:47:39 PM) Micah: it was like watching an android malfunction

I rule.

(9:47:24 AM) Charles: some how i think you do any walk of shame with a shit eating grin
(9:47:29 AM) Charles: and bed head
(9:47:45 AM) Marie: pretty much
(9:47:46 AM) Marie: haha

I am disappointed in half of the people I know

(10:55:26 PM) Marie: god everyone that thought secretary was a hot movie must have the tamest sex lives ever
(10:55:33 PM) Marie: also maggie gyllenhaal is gross
(10:56:32 PM) Charles: i described it as child abuse sold as romantic S&M the other day
(10:56:42 PM) Marie: haha it was just fucking trite
(10:56:57 PM) Marie: like if i want a fucked up fetish movie starring james spader its gonna be crash every fucking time

Must save the runt.

(11:27:16 PM) Marie: http://www.flickr.com/photos/primalux/3696499357/in/photostream/
(11:27:21 PM) Marie: this is my favorite peepster
(11:27:24 PM) Marie: he's the runt
(11:27:32 PM) Marie: he like hasn't grown at all since he hatched three weeks ago
(11:27:36 PM) Marie: that's his sibling next to him
(11:28:01 PM) Chris: steal him and give him to the spca
(11:28:04 PM) Marie: i want to
(11:28:09 PM) Marie: cause he's gonna die soon
(11:28:14 PM) Chris: do it
(11:28:17 PM) Chris: they have to take it
(11:28:17 PM) Marie: cause the mom will stop feeding him
(11:28:21 PM) Chris: you don't know where it came from
(11:28:24 PM) Chris: it's a mystery
(11:28:32 PM) Marie: haha
(11:28:39 PM) Marie: i will sneak him off in my backpack
(11:28:44 PM) Chris: dooooo it
(11:28:52 PM) Marie: and play loud music so that people won't hear him peeping
(11:29:01 PM) Chris: give him a binky

Overheard on Valencia last night

Setting - Guy and girl standing in front of Ritual. I'm walking by with a friend of mine.

Guy: It's fake!
Girl: Pap smears are not fake!!

And scene.

Overheard on the N last night

Guy talking to his friend on the phone: "He was like "You look like a fucking hipster" and I was all "I will stab you"."

(He was discussing how he got sucker-punched by some "Don Johnson looking motherfucker" and a few minutes prior had asked Robbie if his face was all red or if he was bleeding.)

Sea Turtles are the new Dolphins....

I was explaining this to Robbie and Logan on the boat the other day. Someone started laughing about sea turtle tattoos as if they don't exist or something. I was adamant that I'd seen them before.

Apparently I'm not the only one.

Totes a perv

(11:15:27 PM) Chris: i'm going to come in there and poop on your face
(11:15:30 PM) Marie: EW
(11:15:33 PM) Marie: that's just rude
(11:15:51 PM) Marie: also that's going on my blog so that everyone can see what a sicko you are
(11:16:56 PM) Chris: well if that's the case i'm going to jizz in your hair when you're asleep

I want to print this out

and put it above my bed.
[via]

Hilarious Conversation Time

So this one happened in real life, therefore I will just have to transcribe it here.
(Chris and I do some shots of nyquil for sleeping/cold purposes)
Chris: Man that tastes like ass
Marie: Seriously. It kinda tastes like cherry chapstick.
Ross, yelling from his room: It tastes like cherry vomit.
Marie: Actually, it tastes like making out with a chick wearing cherry chapstick who just puked.
Ross: I wouldn't know, I've never done that.
Marie: Uh.....me either?
Ross: Whore.

I was right and you all were wrong!

primalux: i'm watching choke
i never read the book. however in the first five minutes i relate very well because i too use compulsive sex in order to feel nothing
and i work at a popular historic tourist destination
ha
Chris Bennett: ha... did you see that link about women having no emotions during orgasm?
primalux: haha no
Chris Bennett: i thought i sent it to you
primalux: but dude that validates everything i've been trying to tell people
haha
Chris Bennett: yeah... they did brain scans and it showed that the emotional centers just shut down during orgasm
primalux: that's fucking awesome
only women?
Chris Bennett: yeah
primalux: hahaha. i knew it

I'm sure this will make Garrett lose his shit...

primalux: i went to work today
it was not good
Charles: haha
people ruin everything
primalux: yesterday work was good cause there were like 3 swedish brothers
and they were hot as shit
and i flirted like mad
Charles: haha
primalux: that could have been the dirtiest porno ever
ha
Charles: jesus
haha
primalux: man i crack myself up sometimes

"eggnog drunk is the best kind of drunk because it's festive!" - me, just now, to chris

Haha.

I just checked my email and I had a receipt in there for Ryan Adams' book. Oh the things I buy and then forget I buy when I'm drunk!

A Cold + Cold Medicine + Jager/Red bulls + Emotional jetlags = hilarious conversations tonight

primalux: man i am emoing the fuck out
Raeven: oh serious
primalux: that h.i.m. discography i downloaded is really coming in handy
ha
Raeven: bahahah you are goddamn redonk
primalux: dude i know
i love it haha
like as long as i can do stupid shit like this and laugh at myself
i know i'm ok ha
cause it means i'm not like punching holes in my wall again ha
Raeven: ok good point
------------------------------------
primalux: nom nom nom jager!
Charles: i have beer
primalux: that's cool
i had to wait an hour for a train or bus that even goes near my place to come
and its raining
so i figured i should just hit the hard stuff as soon as i got home
------------------------------------
primalux: oh shit it's my boy kiefers bday
i wanna buy him a shot so hard
Charles: eh?
primalux: kiefer sutherland
my dream is to drink with him
also with crispin glover
Charles: he'll get drunk and rape you
primalux: he'll get drunk and take his pants off and try to climb a xmas tree
cause that's how he rolls
------------------------------------
primalux: i met a cajun guy at an irish bar
and he spent like 3 hours talking to me about cosplay
Charles: hahaha
ok
primalux: and how it's the most amazing thing ever
and how he had no idea such things existed but now he just thinks those girls are the best
Charles: thats weird and odd, as well as stupid

My favorite blog post I've ever made

It lives here
I was going over old stuff. It made me laugh. A lot of it did actually. I need to laugh at shit more often and stop agonizing.

You gotta play that music for who's listening, You gotta have someone you wanna sing it to

Man. Sometimes the mania is awesome. I am riding this high like no one's business. Life is responding. It's weird.
So yesterday was apparently "compliment Marie day". Someone told me I look like a kewpie doll. I mean I don't really know if that's a compliment but whatevs. Also a random like 30 year old midwestern lady at work was like "I just have to tell you that you're so adorable." I don't even think she was hitting on me. A bunch more people told me a bunch more things about how awesome I am. I mean, shit, I know I'm rad as balls, but it was all in all very weird.
Life is just fucking occurring. A boy wrote me a poem. He's the best. No one's done that in years.
And it was a good one too.
A person I really like just left the city. It makes me feel like a jerk. From those two statements you can draw your own conclusions about that, but I am going to miss him.
Also this kid at work has been leaving travel pamphlets in my locker. He doesn't know I know it's him as far as I'm aware. I'm trying to figure out the proper response while waiting for some sort of "climactic event" that I don't think is gonna happen. My first instinct was to just start hitting on him because I think it would make him really uncomfortable. I might still do that.
I just downloaded The Highwaymen's greatest hits. I miss that album and I need some country legends in my life desperately. I wish I could just sing country music for the rest of my life. How fucking sweet would that be? All whiskey and cigarettes and beer and steel guitars. Mmmmm.

The past week:

First off, last Sunday, Bill and Maria came out from New Jersey and we had oodles of fun. One day the three of us woke up at 9 am and drank Bloody Marys basically all day and it was fantastic (Chris joined us once he got off of work). We went down to Balboa Park another day and went to some mueseums. And there was a drunken night in there as well where we wandered around Grand from Fillipi's to O'Sullivans to Pounders. Woo. Apparently I am "The Dream Shatter-er" now, a title which I answer to proudly, I must admit.

Friday the redhead from News Radio, Vicki Lewis, came to one of our shows. I loved News Radio so I thought that was cool. She came to my window to pick up tickets with her boyfriend/husband/fiance and I totally recognized her but I didn't want to be annoying so I didn't say anything. I looked her up on Wikipedia afterward and saw that it said she was engaged to the guy who she was with, whose name the tickets were bought under, so then I knew it was her. Small time sighting, but seriously, I love that show.

Now onto the hilarity of yesterday.

While at work this old guy walks up to my window. He looks like a combo of Christoper Walken and Robert Goulet, only homeless. He was wearing a track suit, an old man sweater, Mardi Gras beads, and a GINORMOUS amethyst pinky ring. He starts asking me about the smaller theatre we have, what kind of shows we put on in it, if we ever rent it out, what it takes to rent it out, etc. I tell him the little bit I know about that stuff, but I don't know much cause I don't really work with rentals. So Jason goes to get him the card of the guy who handles renting out the theatre and this guy starts talking to me, telling me how pretty I am and such and then this happens:

Him: "Do you know who Lana Turner is? The actress."
Me: "Yes"
Him: "Well I used to be married to her. Also I'm a hypnotist. And I'm in the Guinness Book of World Records for the highest paid public speaker."

Now internally I'm laughing my ass off and thinking "What. A. Loon." but I'm being polite and humoring him and such because you know, he's harmless and I'm at work. He starts telling me how he wants to rent the theatre out to do a hypnotism show and such. Eventually I give him the card of the guy who handles rentals and send him on his way. We all start laughing about his craziness but then Jason decides he's going to look up Lana Turner on Wikipedia and see if there's anything to his story. LO AND FUCKING BEHOLD:

"Ronald Pellar is an American hypnotist and fraudster who performed under the stage names Ronald Dante and Dr. Dante, and who was briefly married to actress Lana Turner. He has been convicted of or pled guilty to several criminal offenses, including mail fraud in connection with his operation of the diploma mill Columbia State University and attempted murder for trying to contract for the murder of another hypnotist and entertainer. As of 2006, he had been listed in the Guinness Book of World Records for 20 years for having been paid the highest-ever lecture fee. He has been known by as many as 40 aliases, including Phil Harris, Earl Clevenger, and Bonnie Ritchie."

His personal website is seriously something to behold. There was also a really detailed write-up about him in the Union-Tribune a couple of years ago. I don't know if I can pick my favorite part of his story, though I'm leaning hard toward the fact that he went to prison for putting out a hit on a rival hypnotist, but someone needs to make a movie about this man, STAT. Also, Arts Center, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE rent the theatre out to Dr. Dante.

And as the topper to my story, he made me a present because I'm "so pretty":

It's a tiny poodle made from Mardi Gras beads. He even said "Woof!" and made it prance for me. My very own piece of Dr. Dante memorabilia. I shall treasure it FOREVER.

HA

[14:19] primaluxsum: i just printed out tickets for a ronald paul
[14:19] Chris: ahahaha
[14:19] Chris: he's going to pay you with gold coins with his own face on them

S-A-T-U-R-D-A-Y NIGHT!

So Desi invited me out to this club thing last night...I had a fun time, the "club" was lame as all hell though...instead of writing about it, I'm just going to paste my conversation I had with Bas about it earlier today:

(15:48:49) primaluxsum: also i went to possibly the stupidest club last night
(15:49:25) Bas: do tell
(15:49:26) primaluxsum: but then i met a big black man who dressed as some sort of "old big black woman" drag queen
(15:49:42) primaluxsum: and a homeless man who like to smoke weed and hated george w bush
(15:49:43) primaluxsum: haha
(15:50:04) primaluxsum: like desi was referred to this club thing cause it was like "fashion" crap
(15:50:16) primaluxsum: like they have a fashion show during the club and all of this
(15:50:26) primaluxsum: so she went down there to do makeup and like network and whatnot
(15:50:43) primaluxsum: so me and chris went with her and our friend ryan showed up too
(15:50:54) primaluxsum: and like...it was in this tiny dive bar
(15:50:59) primaluxsum: that looked like an old strip club
(15:51:06) primaluxsum: called "the san diego sports bar"
(15:51:10) primaluxsum: and it was all old dudes
(15:51:19) primaluxsum: it was chill...also it was in the back of an alley
(15:51:20) primaluxsum: hahaha
(15:51:41) primaluxsum: and then like...in the back of the bar they just hung big black curtains and behind that was the "club"
(15:51:49) primaluxsum: and it was the stupidest thing ever
(15:51:54) primaluxsum: we were all like "what the fuck"
(15:51:55) primaluxsum: haha
(15:52:14) primaluxsum: so we just got drunk and made fun of hipsters having to mingle with "old drunks"
(15:52:14) primaluxsum: hahaha
(15:52:26) primaluxsum: and these girls seriously thought they were straight up the shit
(15:52:30) primaluxsum: all of the "models"
(15:52:32) primaluxsum: it was hilarious
(15:52:50) primaluxsum: and i kept going out to smoke and never actually saw the "fashion show"
(15:52:51) primaluxsum: hahaha
(15:53:01) Bas: hahaha
(15:53:04) primaluxsum: but according to chris a few girls walked around on stage
(15:53:10) primaluxsum: but they didn't have lights on them or anything
(15:53:13) Bas: lol
(15:53:17) primaluxsum: so they could've been naked for all you knew
(15:53:18) primaluxsum: haha
(15:53:59) Bas: :(
(15:54:07) primaluxsum: but i finagled some free drinks out of dumb dudes
(15:54:20) primaluxsum: and it was a good time
(15:54:28) Bas: hahaha
(15:54:34) primaluxsum: also i seriously looked like a hooker
(15:54:39) primaluxsum: i think there are pictures somewhere
(15:54:49) primaluxsum: cause it was an "80's" theme
(15:54:55) primaluxsum: and like me desi and ryan went all out with it
(15:55:18) primaluxsum: and then we get there and all of the chicks were like..wearing normal clothes and would just put like "leg warmers" on or something
(15:55:27) primaluxsum: cause you know...they still have to look hip after all


It was super silliness. Going out and hanging with friends was rad though.Yay for that. There will be pictures soon.