If it takes a life or a couple of days, It's coming together in relative ways...

As an introvert I feel the need to ask: Why is catharsis so much easier to acheive and so much more satisfying when other people are part of it? Fucking humanity and our need to be social creatures. I spent literally all night talking to Bas, being drunk and crying like a stupid emotional girl (I'm really over this whole crying thing I've suddenly developed a fondness for, by the way). The past few days have not been good ones, mentally, and my whole invisibility is overwhelming me at this point, but somehow I actually feel better today than I've felt in days and I owe it all to ridiculously depressing-early morning-Bas's 26th birthday-conversation. I think I have more of a desire to connect with people than I'm really ready to admit.

Today is all about the songs "Born on a train" and "Take ecstasy with me", both by the Magnetic Fields. Go find them somewhere.

We were talking last night about this whole "interent presence/persona" thing. It's interesting to think about though. I don't know how well I can express the ideas around it at the moment, I'm still kind of working them out in my head. Basically, I have little bits of myself everywhere. I have profiles on pretty much every social networking site (though most of them aren't active), I have this blog, if you want to know what music I'm listening to you can look at my last.fm stuff, if you want to know what I'm watching you can look at my YouTube favourites, etc..Even the stuff I link to, the blogs of my friends, all of that builds up another layer. I try to think about how accurate it all is. With the exception of maybe 2 people, everyone I talk to online or who really read this blog are all people I know personally. I think most of them would say that I'm no more or less honest online than I am in real life. Does the sum of all of these parts of me placed all over really equal something truly representative of who I am? I know this sounds all horribly navel-gazing and self-centered, but that's not the way I really mean it to. I suppose all these uses of the first-person personal pronoun tend to do that but it's a blog, what the fuck is a better definition of navel-gazing than that? I really am thinking about this in a bigger sense though, not just for myself but for all of the people I know and the few people I don't really. *Shrug* I find it interesting anyway, I'll keep thinking about it.