You know you're jealous.

Suck it, bitches!

HOLY SHIT

Leonard Cohen and Throbbing Gristle are both playing Coachella this year.

/me fucking dies of bliss.

I want to print this out

and put it above my bed.
[via]

Ramones Name Generator

HA.

Neko Case is awesome.

So she has a new album coming out and the first single, "People Got a Lotta Nerve" can be downloaded here for free, which is awesome in and of itself. But the reason I'm posting it here is that for every blog that posts it, she and her label are donating 5 dollars to Best Friends Animal Society. You can find out more about that here.

Oh also, the song is awesome.

Hilarious Conversation Time

So this one happened in real life, therefore I will just have to transcribe it here.
(Chris and I do some shots of nyquil for sleeping/cold purposes)
Chris: Man that tastes like ass
Marie: Seriously. It kinda tastes like cherry chapstick.
Ross, yelling from his room: It tastes like cherry vomit.
Marie: Actually, it tastes like making out with a chick wearing cherry chapstick who just puked.
Ross: I wouldn't know, I've never done that.
Marie: Uh.....me either?
Ross: Whore.

Family Visit

So my mom and Scott came and visited last weekend. I got my mom more drunk than she's ever been before. We ran around town and had adventures. I showed them around my work. It was pretty fun times.

Valerie got me the best shirt ever for Xmas.

Chris showed my mom how to play Wii tennis.

Ross played tour guide and showed us around for a whole day.

Logan broke the rules and took us to the roof of the cellhouse.

More amusing pictures live here.

I was right and you all were wrong!

primalux: i'm watching choke
i never read the book. however in the first five minutes i relate very well because i too use compulsive sex in order to feel nothing
and i work at a popular historic tourist destination
ha
Chris Bennett: ha... did you see that link about women having no emotions during orgasm?
primalux: haha no
Chris Bennett: i thought i sent it to you
primalux: but dude that validates everything i've been trying to tell people
haha
Chris Bennett: yeah... they did brain scans and it showed that the emotional centers just shut down during orgasm
primalux: that's fucking awesome
only women?
Chris Bennett: yeah
primalux: hahaha. i knew it

So before anyone asks...

I'm just going to list out what I did for New Year's Eve, because I don't want to have to recount it again. Instead I will be like "Go read my depressing blog, asshole."

• My night of unadventure began with disappointment and the only semblance of plans I had being fucked. I got ditched, by a boy that is scared of everything. Then I cried in my bed for a while.
• After I pulled myself together, which took very little time as my patented numbness came to the rescue, I drank the last 6 or so shots left in my bottle of 120 proof absinthe. Just guzzled that shit from the bottle like the pro I am.
• Seeing that my bottle of liquor was now empty, I went and got the Captain from the freezer and chugged a bit of that. Then Chris came home with a couple of bottles of champagne, so I went and hung out with him and Ross in the living room.
• We opened some champagne, toasted because Chris was going to a party and wouldn't be home at midnight and then I decided I needed to eat something, since I'd been abstaining from food all day. My new years dinner was a frozen salisbury steak and mac n cheese meal.
• Chris left. Ross and I finished both bottles of champagne. I drank some more rum. I talked to Garrett on the phone while halfway watching Iron Man. Chris came home disappointed and we had an awkward talk. Around 1 I passed out on the couch. Woke up at 4:30 and moved to my bed. The end.
  

Oh baby, tonight we sleep in separate ditches...

Everybody needs a little Birthday Party in their life. This song is exactly where my head is. It's going to be an interesting year I'm sure.

Love is for fools, and all fools are lovers.
It's raining on my house and none of the others.
Love is for fools, and god knows I'm still one.
The sidewalks are full of loves lonely children.
The sidewalks are full of loves ugly children.
The sidewalk regrets that we had to kill them.

It could have been fun or exciting. Things my life is not right now.

So I think you were right.
Fuck.
I am so bored.
I should have walked away from our
pointless conversation
and given that Swedish boy my number
like I wanted to.

I'm sure this will make Garrett lose his shit...

primalux: i went to work today
it was not good
Charles: haha
people ruin everything
primalux: yesterday work was good cause there were like 3 swedish brothers
and they were hot as shit
and i flirted like mad
Charles: haha
primalux: that could have been the dirtiest porno ever
ha
Charles: jesus
haha
primalux: man i crack myself up sometimes

So, I've renewed my decision that I'm travelling to Sweden.

And that's that.

More Jens for your listening and viewing pleasure.

You Are The Light.
I love this video. Jens as a knight and some horns. The End.


A Little Lost.
Perfect.


Pocketful of Money.
I saved the best for last. This is my favorite Jens song, and it's a video of him singing it in a parking lot. He gets the crowd to sing the part that in the original is the sample of Calvin Johnson singing "I'll come running with a heart on fire." I died, its so fucking good.

Oh you're so silent Jens...

So maybe you're no longer my top played artist on last.fm. You still hold the top two songs though. And really, you're the sexiest Swede I've ever met. So you should have accepted when I was like "OMG marry me Jens." Anyway, you better come to SF soon.

"In church on Sunday making out in front of the preacher
You had a black shirt on with a big picture of Nietzsche
When we had done our thing for a full Christian hour
I had made up my mind that there must be a higher power."

"eggnog drunk is the best kind of drunk because it's festive!" - me, just now, to chris

Myers-Briggs for the ol' blog.

So apparently this Typealyzer site will tell you the Mysers-Briggs personality type for your blog, based on.....I have no idea, the words you use? I'm too lazy to research that part. Anyway, here's mine:

ESFP - The Performers

The entertaining and friendly type. They are especially attuned to pleasure and beauty and like to fill their surroundings with soft fabrics, bright colors and sweet smells. They live in the present moment and don´t like to plan ahead - they are always in risk of exhausting themselves.

The enjoy work that makes them able to help other people in a concrete and visible way. They tend to avoid conflicts and rarely initiate confrontation - qualities that can make it hard for them in management positions.

This is pretty amusing to me, because every time I've taken the Myers-Briggs I always get INTJ, which really describes me to a fucking T.

I guess I just play a people-person on the internet.

I has a Ryan Adams book.

It is poetry. I am an artfag. It makes me feel forlorn.

Haha.

I just checked my email and I had a receipt in there for Ryan Adams' book. Oh the things I buy and then forget I buy when I'm drunk!

A Cold + Cold Medicine + Jager/Red bulls + Emotional jetlags = hilarious conversations tonight

primalux: man i am emoing the fuck out
Raeven: oh serious
primalux: that h.i.m. discography i downloaded is really coming in handy
ha
Raeven: bahahah you are goddamn redonk
primalux: dude i know
i love it haha
like as long as i can do stupid shit like this and laugh at myself
i know i'm ok ha
cause it means i'm not like punching holes in my wall again ha
Raeven: ok good point
------------------------------------
primalux: nom nom nom jager!
Charles: i have beer
primalux: that's cool
i had to wait an hour for a train or bus that even goes near my place to come
and its raining
so i figured i should just hit the hard stuff as soon as i got home
------------------------------------
primalux: oh shit it's my boy kiefers bday
i wanna buy him a shot so hard
Charles: eh?
primalux: kiefer sutherland
my dream is to drink with him
also with crispin glover
Charles: he'll get drunk and rape you
primalux: he'll get drunk and take his pants off and try to climb a xmas tree
cause that's how he rolls
------------------------------------
primalux: i met a cajun guy at an irish bar
and he spent like 3 hours talking to me about cosplay
Charles: hahaha
ok
primalux: and how it's the most amazing thing ever
and how he had no idea such things existed but now he just thinks those girls are the best
Charles: thats weird and odd, as well as stupid

Solitary Man

Valerie put a post up about songs relating to seasons. Winter always makes me think of the album American III: Solitary Man by Johnny Cash, and in particular his cover of Solitary Man, which is fantastic. The song was actually stuck in my head all day yesterday for certain reasons, and with tomorrow being the Winter Solstice, I figured it was all nice and synchronous and all that shit.

The reasons it reminds me of winter aren't really interesting. I moved into a house in the middle of winter about 4 years ago, we didn't have cable or tv in our room, so I spent a lot of time listening to this album. I downloaded a couple of other covers of it as well, one by Chris Isaak, which is surprisingly fantastic, and one by H.I.M. which I find hilarious and at the same time appeals to my art fag emo-ness. I suggest you listen to them all.

Johnny Cash - Solitary Man
Chris Isaak - Solitary Man
H.I.M. - Solitary Man

I seriously could listen to this song all the time. Whoever sings it.
And that is the end of that. And thank the gods tomorrow is the shortest day of the year. It couldn't have come at a better time.