Saturday, February 24, 2007

Friday, February 23, 2007

Oh just one more And I'll walk away

All the everything you win
Turns to nothing today
So just one more
Just one more go
Inspire in me the desire in me
To never go home


I just realized that I hadn't really updated this thing since I got home, other that the automagic del.icio.us links and whatnot.

The trip home was the worst traveling experience I've ever had. After a ridiculously long and icy drive to Philadelphia, snow caused the direct flight on the 14th to be cancelled. Had to stay overnight in Philadelphia, got to the airport the next morning for the rebooked non-direct flight. It was an hour late getting there, had to stop in North Carolina, had to switch planes in Nashville (where I thought I was going to get to see Valerie but since the plane was two hours late getting there, I did not), arrived in San Diego at 10 pm, wacked out of my mind on Ambien, thus the puking on the 163 on the way home. All in all, it was about 12 hours of travel just on day 2. So fucking fitting.

So I've been here a week now. I've done the Margarita Monday, I've done the dollar drafts, done the uncomfortable parade at Churchills, went to commune with the gays. I'm so ready not to be here anymore. Ross wants me to go up to SF for his birthday this weekend and I wish I had the money to do so. At this point the plan is just to put on the blinders and work for awhile so I can get some money and LEAVE. Perhaps have a little bit of fun in between all that shit, but I'm certainly trying my hardest to be in North County as little as possible. Such a serious lack of prospects...ha.

Links for 2007-02-22 [del.icio.us]

Sunday, February 18, 2007

Links for 2007-02-18 [del.icio.us]

Thursday, February 15, 2007

Well...

I am officially back in San Diego. What's the first thing I did when I got here, you ask?
Puked out of my moving car on the 163.

More to come, but since I've been traveling since 9 am wednesday morning or so, I think sleep is in order.

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Waiting in the plane in raleigh.

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So far, an hour late. Will this be it?

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About to fly to nashville!

Wednesday, February 14, 2007

Links for 2007-02-13 [del.icio.us]

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The line we were in at the airport this morning. As of now we are leaving at 1pm tomorrow. Fuck you, winter.

Tuesday, February 13, 2007

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I made a snowman!

"And they all pretend they're orphans and their memory's like a train You can see it getting smaller as it pulls away

And the things you cant remember tell the things you cant forget
That history puts a saint in every dream"

I just woke up and it's snowing! I guess I'll get to build a snowman before I leave after all!

It occurred to me that I spent last Valentine's day traveling as well, driving home from San Francisco. It's really just any other day, but I guess since it's some sort of "holiday" in popular consciousness it's sticks out more in my mind. The things a year can do.

"And its time time time, and its time time time
And its time time time that you love
And its time time time"

Links for 2007-02-12 [del.icio.us]

Monday, February 12, 2007

Taking a break from packing...

...to do surveys. It's all aboot distraction.

Who was your first:

1. Who was your first prom date?
Didn't Go

2. Who was your first roommate?
Hmm...I don't really know what counts as a roommate...when I left home when I was 15 I lived with Sara for a while and then Justin but I don't know if that really counts....if not, Charles.

3. What alcoholic beverage did you first drink?
Probably good ol' Captain and Coke.

4. What was your first job?
Longs

5. What was your first car?
Volkswagen Golf

6. Who was your first kiss?
Oh wow...I honestly have no idea.

7. What was your first CD?
Hmm...probably something by U2.

8. Who was your first grade teacher?
Mrs. Sadiki

9. Where did you go on your first airplane ride?
California

10. When you snuck out of your house for the first time, who was it with?
Hmm...probably Geoff or something in jr. high.

11. Who was your first best friend and are you still friends with them?
Um...Nicole Baum when I lived in Houston. I pretty much lost touch with her after I moved to California. I then went on to be best friends with two other Nicoles. Fucking early 80's parents.

12. Where was your first sleepover?
I think at my friend Elizabeth's house.

13. Who is the first person you talk to in the morning?
Chris usually.

14. Whose wedding were you in the first time?
My uncle Tommy's when I was probably 3 or 4.

15. What is the first thing you do in the morning?
Pee and/or grab some coffee.

16. What was the first concert you ever went to?
I think the first concert I actually chose to go to was New Kids on the Block when I was in 3rd(?) grade.

17. First tattoo or piercing?
Ears

18. First celebrity crush?
Bono

19. First crush?
Don't remember.

20. First love?
Thrace.

21. When was your first detention?
6th grade I believe.


Okay this is called FIRST REACTION... type what comes to your mind first whenever you hear these 40 words. Don't think and don't go back and change. Doesn't matter how random just type it! Repost it for all of your friends.


1. Beer:Belgium

2. Anorexic: Fatty!

3. Relationships: Overrated

4. Your Last Ex: Pain

5. Power Rangers: Justin

6. Life: Cosmic Joke

9. The President: Unfathomable

11. Cars: Fun

12. Gas Prices: Annoying

13. Halloween: Jungle Juice

14. Sex: Panacea

15. Religion: Unecessary

16. Myspace: Hassle

17. Worst fear: Success

18. Marriage: Pointless

19. redheads: Irish

20. blondes: Meh

21. Brunettes: Meh

22. Asians: Hot

23: Pass the time: all I can think of is "Pass the dutchie....."

24. One Night stands: Smart

25: Cell Phone: Leash

27: Smoke: signals

28: Vanilla Ice cream: Yum

29: Port a Potties: Stank

30: High school: Boring

31. Pajamas: Useless

32. Stars: Garrett

33. Wet Socks: Squish

34. Alcohol: Excuse

35. The word love: meaningless

36. My best friends: confusing

37. Money: uninteresting

38. Heartache: inexplicable

39. Time: imaginary

40. Divorce: Payment

Saturday, February 10, 2007

I won’t pretend that we’re on the winning end. But when did that matter before anyway?

Propagandhi - Life at Disconnect
I don't think it really needs an explanation.

The anxiety has kicked in, hardcore. Also the nose-bleeds...ha.

Thursday, February 08, 2007

Links for 2007-02-08 [del.icio.us]

Seriously...

I want Joan Jett to be my sugar-mama. She's older than my mother and still retardedly hot.

Though I'm way more partial to The Runaways than her solo stuff.


More YouTube Runaways goodness.

Links for 2007-02-07 [del.icio.us]

Wednesday, February 07, 2007

*tear*

I just watched this promo for the 4th season of Six Feet Under. I never watched it when it actually aired so I'd never seen any of the promos, but jesus.......nothing will ever be as good as that show was.

I need 10000 super-soakers....full of acid


Or maybe just an Oozinator.

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A ninja left a present for me while I was sleeping!

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Waking up to snow is better than a lot of things...

Monday, February 05, 2007

Photo Safari is available!


So I finished captioning the pictures we took. Check the link above to begin your journey!
I'm fully planning on presenting them, drunken slideshow style, when I get home.

It's just a crapshoot, but it's mostly crap...

"Flowers are Pretty" + "Fucked up Girl" + "That's My Girl" = ME!
My life can totally be summed up by a series of Vandals songs! It's science!

Listening to "Flowers are Pretty" totally makes me think of my tumor, Alexander. I thought it deserved a regal name. Hell yeah, non-cancerous tumors made of fat! I love that my body loves to fuck with me like that. Like, "Oh yeah, you're totally gonna have weird health things but they won't be fatal! You aren't getting out that easily!"

So nine more days. It's making me crazy. Part of me cannot fucking wait to get out of here, to have my own life again instead of just "existing" ....sitting a room all day and night...like I am right now, just being pissed off and in control of nothing. I'm also really fucking scared though. It's not like I'm going back to anything familiar...I mean maybe my room and my car, but that's about it. Nothing that matters will be "normal" or "the same"....who knew that when I decided to stay out here I was apparently making a choice that was so far-reaching and entirely out of my control. And I had no idea, about any of it. Sometimes I am really thick.

If I get back to San Diego and end up doing nothing, just sitting on my ass and never leaving....just "existing" like I am here, someone put me out of my misery. Otherwise I'll end up shooting someone, swear to god. Ha.

Forgive my emotasticness......


This picture is emotasticness personified, in case you needed a visual aid.
.....I've got the pre-bloody vag crazies and I'm just waiting anxiously until my uterus decides to do its monthly attempt at kicking its way out of my body, painfully. Then I crack open the ambien stash. It will be epic, let me tell you.

Saturday, February 03, 2007

You say it, Modern Lovers!

Here's a picture from our photo safari:

When I first came out here, I remember seeing this and thinking, "Oh my god, a real life Stop N Shop!" For some reason I was under the impression that they were convenience stores, like 7-11 or something. Of course my only exposure to them was in the lyrics of a song.

Inspired by the best driving song ever, Roadrunner by Jonathan Richman and the Modern Lovers(mp3 link):

1 2 3 4 5 6 Roadrunner Roadrunner
Going faster miles an hour
Gonna drive past the Stop N Shop with the radio on
I'm in love with Massachusetts
and the neon when it’s cold outside
and the highway when it's late at night
With the radio on
I'm like the roadrunner –

Awright, I’m in love with modern moonlight, 128 when it’s dark outside
I’m in love with Massachusetts
I’m in love with the radio on
It helps me from being alone late at night, helps me from being lonely late at night
I don’t feel so bad now when it’s on
Don’t feel so alone with the radio on, like the roadrunner, that’s right -

Said hello to the spirit of 1956
Patient in the bushes next to '57
The highway is your girlfriend, as you go by quick
Suburban trees, suburban speed
And it smells like heaven
I say roadrunner once roadrunner twice
I'm in love with rock-n-roll and I’ll be out all night, a Roadrunner-

Well now, Roadrunner, Roadrunner, going faster miles an hour
Gonna drive to the Stop N Shop with the radio on at night
And be in love with modern moonlight
And be in love with modern rock and roll
modern girls and modern rock and roll
Don’t feel so alone with the radio on
OK, you say it, Modern Lovers
(Radio On!) I got the AM (Radio On!) I got the power, got the AM (Radio On!) Got the AM sound (Radio On!) I got the rockin’ rockin’ neon sound (Radio On!) I got the car from Massachusetts (Radio On!) I got the power from Massachusetts when it’s late at night (Radio On!) I got the modern sounds of modern Massachusetts (Radio On!) I got the world, I got the turnpike (Radio On!) I got the power of the AM (Radio On!) Rock and roll late at night (Radio On!) I got the neon sign, modern sound, awright [etc.] Bye, bye bye.

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I got the most awesome shades yesterday. Yes, those are snakes. And theyre pink.

(P.S. I was trying something new by using the "send slideshow" function on my phone to send multiple pictures as one post, and it toally worked. WEB 35.6!!!!!)

to everyone, who lost something. and who had to dream awake.

Ugh....I had a super-painful dream last night. It was fucking vivid too. It was sort of replaying things that happened last year....actually it was very much so, but they were happening in the present/future. I'm chalking it all up to my nervousness about going home....heh, it's all I can do I suppose. Also, trying not to let it make me crazy....I hate when things entirely out of your control dredge up so many emotions that you can't seem to shake. I suppose I can tie that to my total need to learn how not to be a control freak. I'm really, really bad about it. Even when it's about things that there's no way I could ever have any control over. I am dumb.

Chris and I drove around and took pictures of all the crazy shit around here yesterday. A gallery will be coming to an internet near you soon enough. I just ate the last bit of my pot pie I made. Jesus christ, I am an awesome cook...haha.

Friday, February 02, 2007

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I made a roasted veggie pot pie for breakfast. I even made the crust from scratch. Yay me!

Thursday, February 01, 2007

All we ever wanted Was everything

So the past few weeks have become just one giant blur. It's weird, I've never really experienced anything like this before. I never have any idea what day it is. Yesterday I thought it was Friday, then I thought it was Thursday. Ha. I have no idea whether things happened this morning, yesterday, or last Monday because my days are literally *that* identical. I never really leave this room, which is a big part of it and totally my own doing but I mean, I supposed I could leave this room to go to....where?....the livingroom? and that would accomplish pretty much fuck and all.

I woke up at 6 this morning and couldn't go back to sleep because my mind wouldn't shut up. It kept running over and over thinking about the future and what I'm doing with my life and what I would like to be doing with my life, etc....And I have no idea what any of those things are so it just kept cycling. Also I couldn't sleep because my legs hurt horribly just from like...fucking disuse or something. I'm so surprised I'm not 500 lbs...hahaha.

Ok...back to the blur.