Update: Track Listing for those who requested it.
came out while I was walking home from the market with bushels of fresh basil and mint. It was perfect. I was listening to "Runaway" by The National. I'm drinking wine and making a new mixtape right now, which I will post later. Next weekend is officially "Start the Garden" weekend. I've also decided that I love the act of alchemy that is cooking way too much and I need to get back to my roots, so I'm only going to eat out now if it's an actual quality food experience. I went out to Alembic last Wednesday with the biologist and it was a superb and fucking transcendent food and whiskey experience, and that's really the only time it's worth it. Otherwise it's gonna be me here in my kitchen, transforming one thing into another. I wish my place was more conducive to dinner parties. I miss having those. Maybe I'll have them anyway.
Last night Logan and Danielle hosted a "Jersey Shore Season 2 Premiere" party and it was awesome. Vegan sausage and peppers, the fruity drink concoction that is "Ron Ron Juice", and even a hot tub. Great times. I looked like a total Jersey stripper. Witness:
Head on over here to see the rest of my shitty cameraphone pics of the party.
I feel like I am chewing up and spitting out the entire world right now. It's fucking stellar.
I need more creative people in my life. I want some real partners in crime.
This song will forever remind me of a specific night almost a year ago. I went on a date I was really not excited about going on, I showed up a little bit tipsy cause I had beer for dinner, I immediately liked him upon meeting him, and by the end of the night I was taking him to my place which I rarely do (I usually opt for their place. Easier to escape and then they don't know where I live). We fucked, it was awesome. I put this album, which I had just gotten, on beforehand. We fell asleep. I woke up in the middle of the night and heard this song for the first time. It was perfect. Perfect for that guy, perfect for that night, all of it. Especially lying there, in the middle of the night, with a stranger who was one of the first people I'd ever felt disarmed by. Glow from the laptop, the line "we are capsules of energy". And then I never saw him again. But every single time I heard this song I flashed back to that night, and to him, and to that moment.
And somehow he's now back in my life.
A while back I mentioned that we were interviewed about our Alcatraz bird blog MAGANRORD. Well that interview is finally airing tonight! The show is CrossCurrents on KALW. If you're in the bay area the station is 91.7 and it will also be on the web at kalwnews.org. It airs between 5 and 530 pm. Listen to our awesomeness!
It's amazing the clarity that comes from realizing you've been wrong about something all along.
Here are the things I've got going right now:
I would be the poster child for emotional maturity?
I mean, over the past 10 years, I've had a lot of practice, so I suppose I shouldn't be surprised by it. But when I remember who I was, a lifetime ago it feels like, there's definitely a reason I feel so disconnected from that person.
My emotions have been put to the test so many times this weekend and every time I couldn't be more pleased with how things have turned out.
Knowing is always just the missing piece of the puzzle.
Ion Square, Bloc Party. "I love my mind when I'm fucking you":
For Real, Okkervil River. "I really miss what really did exist when I held your throat so tight":
Pace is the Trick, Interpol. "You were known for insatiable needs. I don't know a thing":
The beautiful amazing boy I spoke about in the last post, post fucking me for the first time, started laughing. I asked him why he was laughing, and he explained that I was too much and couldn't be real, and then asked me where the hell I came from. He decided that it must be "Mars-achusetts".
I'm sort of recommitting myself to being involved in things again. Which I know is sort of a nebulous statement, but I know what I mean and that's all that really matters. I need more projects basically. I have a few, which I'm into, but the more narrow my field of vision the quicker I get burned out and bored with things. So I'm gonna spread myself thin because that's what I'm into. So here's some of that:
Just painted this last Saturday, when I was feeling inspired after a day spent with someone who I'm finding more and more to be someone I really want to keep in my life. So you know, maybe it was also in an attempt to distract myself from freaking out about that. Ha. Anyway, it started out as an albatross but morphed into a frigatebird because they just have way cooler tails. It's over six feet, took me over twice as long as any of my other birds, and completely ruined my knees. I pretty much love it, but it still shocks me a little when I see it out of the corner of my eye.
I've also started writing about moments in my current sexual/dating life that have struck me as amusing/ridiculous/meaningful/magical whatever. I've been thinking about putting them up on here, but maybe I'll start a new blog for that. I don't know. I had a moment that was just so chock full of coincidence and significance and just felt like something out of a movie I would make, that I had to write about it. And it's grown from there. So I guess stay tuned on that.
Logan and I got interviewed by Fader magazine about MAGANRORD. It's going to be in the August issue. It's weird to feel accomplished and successful. Those are things I've always avoided. Maybe the older I get the more ambitious I become.
In boring mundane news about my life, today I had to deal with the fact that something is actually over with someone I'd been seeing for a while. And it kind of sucks. And I also got a lovely email from someone I had an intense but short-lived fling with last summer, and he is fucking beautiful and awesome so that was really awesome. And then I got some more emails, from other awesome, beautiful people. And my life goes on.
(9:43:48 PM) Chris: i wanna go see inception
(9:43:55 PM) Marie: yeah i kinda do too
(9:44:09 PM) Marie: i mean cillian murphy and joseph gordon levitt in the same movie?
(9:44:17 PM) Marie: someone has been reading my private slashfic
(9:44:46 PM) Chris: gay
(9:44:52 PM) Marie: exactly
