You know you're jealous.

Suck it, bitches!

HOLY SHIT

Leonard Cohen and Throbbing Gristle are both playing Coachella this year.

/me fucking dies of bliss.

I want to print this out

and put it above my bed.
[via]

Ramones Name Generator

HA.

Neko Case is awesome.

So she has a new album coming out and the first single, "People Got a Lotta Nerve" can be downloaded here for free, which is awesome in and of itself. But the reason I'm posting it here is that for every blog that posts it, she and her label are donating 5 dollars to Best Friends Animal Society. You can find out more about that here.

Oh also, the song is awesome.

Hilarious Conversation Time

So this one happened in real life, therefore I will just have to transcribe it here.
(Chris and I do some shots of nyquil for sleeping/cold purposes)
Chris: Man that tastes like ass
Marie: Seriously. It kinda tastes like cherry chapstick.
Ross, yelling from his room: It tastes like cherry vomit.
Marie: Actually, it tastes like making out with a chick wearing cherry chapstick who just puked.
Ross: I wouldn't know, I've never done that.
Marie: Uh.....me either?
Ross: Whore.

Family Visit

So my mom and Scott came and visited last weekend. I got my mom more drunk than she's ever been before. We ran around town and had adventures. I showed them around my work. It was pretty fun times.

Valerie got me the best shirt ever for Xmas.

Chris showed my mom how to play Wii tennis.

Ross played tour guide and showed us around for a whole day.

Logan broke the rules and took us to the roof of the cellhouse.

More amusing pictures live here.

I was right and you all were wrong!

primalux: i'm watching choke
i never read the book. however in the first five minutes i relate very well because i too use compulsive sex in order to feel nothing
and i work at a popular historic tourist destination
ha
Chris Bennett: ha... did you see that link about women having no emotions during orgasm?
primalux: haha no
Chris Bennett: i thought i sent it to you
primalux: but dude that validates everything i've been trying to tell people
haha
Chris Bennett: yeah... they did brain scans and it showed that the emotional centers just shut down during orgasm
primalux: that's fucking awesome
only women?
Chris Bennett: yeah
primalux: hahaha. i knew it

So before anyone asks...

I'm just going to list out what I did for New Year's Eve, because I don't want to have to recount it again. Instead I will be like "Go read my depressing blog, asshole."

• My night of unadventure began with disappointment and the only semblance of plans I had being fucked. I got ditched, by a boy that is scared of everything. Then I cried in my bed for a while.
• After I pulled myself together, which took very little time as my patented numbness came to the rescue, I drank the last 6 or so shots left in my bottle of 120 proof absinthe. Just guzzled that shit from the bottle like the pro I am.
• Seeing that my bottle of liquor was now empty, I went and got the Captain from the freezer and chugged a bit of that. Then Chris came home with a couple of bottles of champagne, so I went and hung out with him and Ross in the living room.
• We opened some champagne, toasted because Chris was going to a party and wouldn't be home at midnight and then I decided I needed to eat something, since I'd been abstaining from food all day. My new years dinner was a frozen salisbury steak and mac n cheese meal.
• Chris left. Ross and I finished both bottles of champagne. I drank some more rum. I talked to Garrett on the phone while halfway watching Iron Man. Chris came home disappointed and we had an awkward talk. Around 1 I passed out on the couch. Woke up at 4:30 and moved to my bed. The end.
  

Oh baby, tonight we sleep in separate ditches...

Everybody needs a little Birthday Party in their life. This song is exactly where my head is. It's going to be an interesting year I'm sure.

Love is for fools, and all fools are lovers.
It's raining on my house and none of the others.
Love is for fools, and god knows I'm still one.
The sidewalks are full of loves lonely children.
The sidewalks are full of loves ugly children.
The sidewalk regrets that we had to kill them.