I don't think I'll ever be rid of this sand...

I went to the beach more this weekend than I have in probably the last 3 years combined. Well, during the day anyway. LA beaches are kinda ghetto. Not that I'm terribly concerned.

I've had like an hour and a half of sleep, an hour of which was on the train this morning. Speaking of the train, here's something I learned: I am a giant fucking retarded vagina sometimes. I really need to start pushing my boundaries again.

Some other things I learned:

-Being around groups of people in LA will totally make you remember why you fucking hate that place. People dress up to go to "dive" bars for fuck's sake.

-I am never drinking SoCo again. It was an experiment. It failed. This time instead of becoming a raging cunt I just became a brat. Yay me.

-My insecurities are fucking retarded. Who even knew I had them? Regardless, I need to stop listening to them. They don't matter.

-The reason I come off as so sarcastic at all times is because I have a really hard time being actually sincere in a face-to-face situation. How sad am I?

There's some other stuff. I can barely keep my eyes open as is, however.

Ok I'm awake now. I realized that Monday was the ten year anniversary of Nancy's death. I wrote it on my calendar and everything but I wasn't here on the day so I forgot. I don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing. I guess it's good because it's not like I really need to be sadder than I already am. I hope someone remembered it for him though.

Also, I would be perfectly happy never, ever having to come back here again. Raeven is gone this week and leaving for Mexico in like two and a half weeks. Garrett is moving this weekend. Charles decided that having everything, his own life and friends wasn't good enough so he had to take what little remnants there were of mine as well. At this point the closest thing I have to some sort of friend/support-structure thing is my family. Yes, read that again. Now fucking shoot me.