Losing sight of what and who I was again

Sometimes I don't want the future to happen. I think I'm one of those people that just wants to live in the past. There are obviously reasons that things turned out the way they have....valid reasons....but right now I can't even see them and I'm just pissed off. I'm fucking scared of the future yet I look at the past and hate the obvious cycles I repeat in my life. I make my life complicated, I make things stressful.

I just made some really good food though. Took a pita and put red-pepper pesto, black olives, sliced red peppers, fake chicken, and this semi-soft white cheese on there and stuck it in the oven, like a mini-pizza thing. Too bad I burned the edges and my mouth...but it still tasted rad.