Christmas reminds me I have nothing....

Man I wish I had the Vandals Christmas album with me. Alas, it's at home. Where, if I was, I'd be listening to it. And then going to the Vandals Christmas show tonight. And possibly listening to my Projekt album of Gothic Christmas Carols. Instead I'm far, far away, stuck in someone else's life for the moment.

I always thought I didn't really have much of a life in SD, and truth is I didn't. But I did have a few things that were pretty much "mine" (or "ours" really, because they all involved other people, traditions and whatnot). Christmas was always "wake up early, open presents, call everyone else and meet-up somewhere, usually our house or Garrett's house and drink all day and make merry and mischief." Yeah....why do I always want the things I truly can't have? Ha. I pretty much know that even if I was home this year, that's not really the way things would go down. Damn this fucking year. It's really been one of the worst in my life.

I guess I've just gotta make it through 2 and a half more days and all this shit will be done with. It's fucking torturous though. Every time I even think about doing Christmas-y shit I start tearing up. The title of my post is unfortunately a reality for me right now. Don't get me wrong, it's not all bad. Some of it is just fucking painful.

Charles is going to SF for New Year's. Color me uber jealous. I have no idea what I'm doing. I'm sure it won't be nearly as cool though. Damn you people on the west coast, being "fun" and "interesting".....And never watching tv. Ha.