I'm seriously sitting here listening to Journey and crying...laugh at me, fuckers!
I hate this fucking time of year. I hate stupid holidays that hold no meaning for me other than traditions with my friends and family, neither of which are really relevant this year. I hate fucking consumerism, particularly for consumerism's sake. Also I hate this goddamn year. I can't wait for it to be over but a part of me wishes it never happened in the first place.
I hate being this fucking homesick and I hate feeling this way randomly. I hate waking up and not wanting to be awake at all. I hate not having anything familiar at all and having nothing that's actually MINE. Since my laptop is pretty much a lost cause I have um.....my phone, my camera, some clothes, and a few books and dvds and that's it. It's rather silly that I even feel this way since when I was at home I kept saying that I wanted to just give all of my shit away....and I still kind of feel that way, maybe I just miss having the options I had. I really hate feeling like I have no options.
I miss sitting in Charles' room and eating whatever vegetarian thing we decided to cook that night and smoking and drinking and listening to music. I miss driving down the coast in the middle of the night with Raeven, jamming to some ridiculous mix she made of reggaeton and crunk hits or something. I miss waking up early and going to IHOP with Garrett and eating some taters and sitting there all day drinking coffee and having ridiculous conversations and singing along to Savage Garden when it would come on their crappy music station. I totally fucking miss Margarita Mondays. Kimmy told me she doesn't think she can go anymore cause it won't be the same without me...that makes me sort of secretly happy. Ha. I miss retarded karaoke parties. I miss being creative and artistic and having projects and working on things with other people. I miss the pieces I was working on. I miss music a lot. I miss never having to watch TV.
I really miss people who know me...and not feeling like I have to explain myself or feel bad about how I am or who I am.
I guess I just needed to get all of that out. So there's my emo rant for the end of the year or something. Let's just say it came a few weeks early.
Thursday, December 07, 2006
Everybody wants a thrill.....
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
2 comments:
I understand how you feel, just think about this way, if you come back, it's all still here. I live where all my good memories are, and I still feel that way. I'm sure all the people miss you just as much, I only ever hung out with you maybe twice, and it was a fucking blast, so I'm sure they're all feeling the void you left behind. Make the best of it, and if you're hanging out with people that make you feel like you need to apologize for yourself, maybe you shouldn't be around those people.
Journey rocks, I'll make sure to do drunken improve karaoke Journey in your name Friday night.
Everyone's barely holding on to the first man. With the hope that it's going to be better. 2006 was a rough one. Like 2pac says, keep ya head up. I love you and I miss you.
Post a Comment