Something strange about me...

When I'm lying in bed by myself, trying to sleep, I get stupidly lonely sometimes, (which is weird because generally if there is another body in the bed I feel all cramped and constricted) and then I can't sleep at all, because I have one of those stupid heads that never shuts up. So I just keep thinking about how empty everything feels, and how lonely it is to be in a room by yourself in the dark in such a vulnerable state, etc....
So that's strange, but not very strange (I don't think?)...the way I deal with this is by sleeping with my laptop in the bed, with Pidgin open. Somehow the thought of this open connection to people I know fills a bit of that void where a body would be...it makes no sense, but I never really thought my mind did at all....make sense, that is. I've been doing this laptop thing for about a year now. I mean not every day or anything, sometimes I've actually got the body in the bed, but when I don't....So I'm about to do that. I took some TylenolPM (tpm for short, yo) and I'm just sitting in this dark cave of an apartment, wrapped up in blankets, with my laptop, waiting for this lovely medicated sleep to kick in.
I feel like this is what the rest of my life is going to be, semblances of connection, pieces of plastic and metal keeping me company. At least laptops can't leave you, though they will eventually die. Just like everyone else.