What am I still to you? Some thief who stole from you? Or some fool drama-queen whose chances were few?

So even though I got a job I applied for another job because I don't think I actually want the job I got. Dropping off my application at the new job resulted in a driving-home-crying-jag that was completely unexpected though I know why it happened.
"There is no knowledge but I know it
There's nothing to learn from that vacant voice"
I'm supposed to go to a wedding today. Who plans a wedding the day before mother's day anyway? I haven't been to a wedding since I was probably 11 years old so it might be a little weird. Also I'm a fucking wreck..haha. That might be the weirder part. Every time I sleep I wake up from nightmares. Yesterday I woke up at 7:30 because I had a dream I got shot in the head. Tried to take a nap and woke up from a different one. I haven't had more than four hours of sleep in I don't know how long and it's making my brain scrambled and muddled and heightening my emotions and making me irrational and just generally compounding everything to ridiculous levels of suck.
I miss everything. I'm bored with and angry and fed up with all of life outside my very immediate bubble. It's weird figuring out that you weren't lonely just because you were 3000 miles from home.

p.s. Apparently The Immigrant Song is in Shrek 3...re-donkey.