Ever get the feeling you've been had?

-- Dennis Keogh of Phoenix, who is a professional Sean Connery look-alike, revealed to his San Francisco pal Tom Kasinger that he was the person who'd visited Alcatraz on Sunday and also dined at Pier 39's Forbes Island Restaurant. People didn't mistakenly identify him as Connery; Keogh's agent had called ahead of time and said Connery was coming. Keogh told his pal he actually "felt bad signing the ranger's hat, but he insisted."

As Garrett so eloquently put it, what a "dirty fraud fuckface".